2003-11-01 SvsG Emails

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2003 Messages

2003 Overview

Staddon vs. Griever: SvsG Messages: 2003

12:24 Nick to Lynne

Nick Notes

This one was rather long, so I broke it into subsections. Also, there was an itemized list (delineated with "--" before each item) which I have changed into a bulleted list.



From: N. Staddon <n-2023-02-2-22:02-spam@redhousespam.com>
Date: 11/1/03 12:24 PM
To: Homeless Task Force <homelesstaskforce-2023-02-2-22:02-spam@hotmailspam.com>
Subject: Where do you want the check?


Immediate business first: I have written a check to "Lynne Griever" and mailed it to Hull Road; it should go out in today's (Saturday) mail pickup.

Responses to other issues:

I appreciate that you are trying not to hate me, but you don't seem to be trying very hard to work towards a solution. As a counselor you must surely be aware that when someone requests mediation on a subject, it is not an attempt to evade responsibility but rather an attempt at open communication. I have waited and waited for you to suggest a time for mediation, at my invitation and on terms highly favorable to you; I have passed the limit of my patience on that option.

Nonetheless, we have some final entanglements to settle.

Any discussions we may have over those entanglements must be on a level playing field.

My solution to this dilemma was mediation; you have declined to take advantage of that offer.

So: any further discussions will be in print, preferably via email, with the understanding that I will be sending copies to third parties whose opinions I value. You may of course do the same, with my full approval. Any suggestions from members of either of our distribution groups are welcome and I will do my best to listen to them, as should you.

It seems to me that this is the *last* hope for any kind of mutually agreeable settlement, as we do not seem to have been able to reach any kind of understanding on several key points despite repeated discussions.

** Just to be clear at this point: Although I have heard some of your grievances, to which I have responded below, I am assuming that this is not a complete list. I'm not sure I really understand what you *want* from me at this point (aside from getting the last of my stuff out of your way and excusing your debt), nor have I set down a more or less complete list of my requests to you. I was planning to do that in mediation; since the mediation isn't happening, I will have to collect my records and get back to you. **

Neff / deadlines:

I do wish you had chosen to inform me what you had told Neff, either before the deadline or in response to my many emails and letters to you when we were planning to visit (which were not answered at all, to the best of my recollection). I can hardly be held accountable for missing a deadline I wasn't aware of and which you chose not to mention on any of several appropriate opportunities, and you must also know that your insistence that I make an appointment before visiting to access the trailer has of necessity slowed down and generally hindered my efforts to remove my property from it.


I have asked repeatedly for a list of your counter-claims -- a list of transactions you question or which you believe I have left out -- and you have listed not a single item.

The most questionable figures on my accounting are those where I had some evidence of a payment from you but nothing conclusive; in such cases I gave you the benefit of the doubt and listed the transaction.

I had also very kindly included credit for a share of sales during the time we were working together; these are in a sense "made up" since they arise from an arrangement which never went beyond the stage of "this is how we'll work things for now". I should probably delete those transactions since we have been unable to work out a *real* agreement which would have justified that share and made it equitable for all involved.

Please also note that I have not billed you for the office/studio space monopolized and extensively cluttered by members of the RDA during the last few years we were at Red House, nor the computer resources those members used which often prevented Red House work from being done, nor the parking space (often very poorly placed) used for months or years at a stretch by vehicles belonging to the RDA and family.

In exchange for this hospitality, the RDA never once offered to cover any of the rent or utilities (and handled the situation not at all considerately when asked to move out in a timely way at the end of our stay at Red House, despite much advance notice and many prior requests to remove vehicles and other... structures). Bubba once suggested that he provide his own computer, a suggestion I endorsed, but this never happened. You are still in posession of (and using, as far as I know) two of my computers, including one rather nice monitor, among other things.

I cannot have "stolen the business", as I have been the sole owner for many years now. If you are speaking of some other entity besides the corporation, please be more specific.


I am sorry the discontinuation of my work with you has been painful. I warned Bubba repeatedly that he was crossing lines which were not acceptable to me. He seemed to be under the impression that the work he had done so far entitled him to a 50% interest in "the business", and yet he always seemed to fight the idea of nailing down exactly what that means -- what "half the business" would be if one owned it, much less what his obligations and duties would be if I were to agree to such a thing. (Not to mention what would happen if either one of us were to want out -- a necessary part of any business agreement.) I was (reluctantly) willing to continue with only informal agreements along those lines so long as we seemed to have a working relationship, but that relationship breathed its last gasp when Bubba (despite those repeated warnings) insisted on taking steps which were actively harmful to the business.

The best interpretation I can put on all this is that the both of you are way out of your depth in a business relationship of any complexity (as opposed to merely *acting* that way as a cover for parasitic behavior). I am feeling less and less disposed to see things with this positive interpretation, since you do not seem to be interested in acknowledging or understanding my point of view on these matters, much less working out a true agreement -- and yet I seem to be expected to see and agree with your point of view, to be apologetic and contrite for all the wrongs you claim against me, without substantiation, just because you claim them. This is quite plainly not fair or equitable.

In summary: I'm sorry it happened the way it did, but you can't point the finger at me for this one. Bubba declined to back down, so I did what I felt I had to do and which I was well within my rights to do. I was defending my sanity and my (quite large) investment in Red House / vbz.net from destruction by an individual with a much smaller investment who didn't seem to understand what he was doing. So although I may be sympathetic, it smacks of major chutzpah for you to glance accusingly at me when you say how hard it has been to deal with the results of Bubba's refusal to compromise.


Now... We have been getting the run-around from the respite care people, else we probably would have tried to plan another visit by now. They keep telling us they will send us a new sitter, and nothing happens. If I had time to call them every day I would, but I haven't had that time.

In the meantime, I am looking at other possibilities for moving the Benz and the piano. It would be very helpful if you could at least respond to the practical questions I asked about the Benz some time ago:

  • Can it be accessed by a tow-truck without bogging down? Should I expect to have to put down skids for the tow truck to go across the septic lines? Is there a better route?
  • Do you actually *have* the Benz keys, and if so why don't I have them yet? Or have you lost them? If you have lost them, that's perfectly legit; I just need to know so I can plan to have the ignition re-keyed; apparently this is not terribly expensive.
  • Do you have any objection to my setting a date for retrieving the piano? I may be able to get someone else to move it so you won't have to put up with my painful presence. If you have a preferred time-window for moving the piano, please let me know ASAP. I'm thinking mid-November if all goes well.

The more of this stuff can be taken care of and off my plate, the more energy I will be able to focus on getting the trailer empty. That's *not* to say that the trailer comes last, just that these other things are diverting energy away from it -- and it is quite a substantial project.

I look forward to your answers regarding the Benz.

Thank you,