2003-06-28 SvsG Emails
Staddon vs. Griever: SvsG Messages: 2003
09:57 Nick to Bubba
Nick Notes
This was in response to B's first 6/27 email. "RH" (in "RH can front the expense") means, essentially, me.
| Date: | Sat, 28 Jun 2003 09:57:32 -0400 |
| From: | "N. Staddon" <n@redhouse.com> |
| To: | Bubba <b@vbz.net> |
| CC: | lynne@redhouse.com |
| Subject: | Re: our discussion |
I am willing to discuss any or all of this in front of a mediator. I am not willing to discuss it without one. RH can front the expense.
It has become plain that I am unable to communicate with you on crucial issues. I see a mediator as the only hope for resolving any of this, because I've certainly done my best. The only other choices I see are continuing to argue with you (not acceptable), to simply go along with whatever you say (not acceptable), or to cease communication altogether (last resort).
If you feel I am trying to take advantage of you, bring it up in mediation and I'll have to listen. A good mediator won't let me twist your words, lead you in circles, sidestep, or repeatedly misunderstand you.
Until we have worked out something in mediation, I will not be able to respond further on any topics other than arranging for mediation.
Nick
11:46 Bubba to Nick
| Date: | Sat, 28 Jun 2003 11:46:02 -0400 |
| To: | "N. Staddon" <n@redhouse.com> |
| From: | Bubba <b@vbz.net> |
| Subject: | Discussion |
Nick,
There is a difference between suggesting that mediation take place and shutting down all communication until it does, (except for about arranging mediation). There is a difference between being willing to discuss anything and everything in front of a mediator, and being willing to PAY for one for countless hours of arranging what needs to be discussed with the assistance of a mediator.
When I said that we would give this consideration I meant just that. I think that there are ways to approach the mediation with a list of issues that need to be addressed without paying for assistance in getting that list together. The list could be compiled with or without face time and there could be boundaries and agreements set up around the email discussions.
Your suggestion that there be a "No Contact" policy until the mediation is set up is not practical. I can see that it would be prudent to agree to cease discussion of issues in dispute, however, questions and answers regarding the daily operations of VBZ.NET would seem to be necessary.
Lynne and I are discussing the situation and where you've stated that there isn't much we are going to be able to do for a week or so, anyway, we decided to take the time we need to discuss it fully. We would like the list of mediators that you offered, as well.
Months before we left Red House, it seemed as though you had been deliberately arranging the exclusion of my input and the need to confer with me about anything regarding the store, the software or our interpersonal relationship. I mentioned this to you several times and you assured me that the terms of our partnership and the value of my input would not change just because of the geography.
What I'm hearing now, is that you will run the store without my help, without my input and without the courtesy of replies to my inquiries regarding "my merchandise" in "our store". I've been saying that it seems as though you have taken on the delusion that you are my boss rather than my partner. You have denied that, as well and what you are saying now is being said from the standpoint of a person who would have to consider himself the only person who has anything to say about this or anything else regarding the store. Where I have not agreed to this that would make you a self-appointed despot.
Please consider the points that have been made, here. Perhaps you hadn't thought about some of the things I've mentioned. It's clear that you are upset and no one can tell you not to be, there is however, no need to overreact thusly.
The implications that accompany your last email, however, overstep the boundaries of our original, current and ongoing agreements.
B.
13:01 Nick to Bubba
| Date: | Sat, 28 Jun 2003 13:01:21 -0400 |
| From: | "N. Staddon" <n@redhouse.com> |
| To: | Bubba <b@vbz.net> |
| CC: | lynne@redhouse.com |
| Subject: | Re: Discussion |
I think you fail to grasp the situation. These are my terms, take them or leave them: mediation or nothing. Red House will cover the immediate expense and we will negotiate how it will be covered ultimately; I don't see how I can be fairer than that.
List of mediators:
- Dawson Wendell, 706.559.7465 (BOGART)
- Denny Galis, attorney/mediator, 706.549.8242 (Milledge Ave.)
- Kathleen McGuire, licensed professional counselor, 706.769.8302
Thanks for asking. That's progress.
I don't know anything about any of them except that the name "Denny Galis" sounds familiar, so he probably advertises (hence possibly more expensive).
The points you raise are points we've been over again and again, and I'm not getting through. Hence mediation.
There is another option I probably should have mentioned, and that is for me to go insane; if my actions now do not seem rational to you, then I guess I've already gone insane and I have only myself to blame for not having insisted on mediation sooner so as to avoid aforementioned insanity.
Nick
15:43 Bubba to Nick
| Date: | Sat, 28 Jun 2003 15:43:42 -0400 |
| To: | "N. Staddon" <n@redhouse.com> |
| From: | Bubba <b@vbz.net> |
| Subject: | Re: Discussion |
Nick, your position is very clear and right where I said it would be after you moved, in spite of your continually reminding me that I was in err.
I'll let you know about the mediation thing when I've had an opportunity to consult the necessary people. My time, and Lynne's, is minimal this week, so it will probably be a couple of weeks. It's taken us years to get here, so what's a few more weeks?
I do not agree to the terms your insisting upon, nor do I feel you have a right to do what you are doing. It is wrong and contradictory to everything we've ever discussed. Reverse it for a moment and imagine if I decided to take over the store, lock, stock and barrel.... and refuse to talk to you, I think you'd see how preposterous the whole idea really is.
You've made it clear that you are taking this position with or without my consent or belief that you are correct in doing so. Believe me, it's not that I fail to grasp the situation.
I'm clear in that you are doing it without me being a willing participant. I do realize that you are really attached to it being this way and as I believe you are wrong and seriously misled, I'll merely strive to prove my points regardless of whomever you feel needs be present.
I'll be looking for the $150 deposit into the RDA account on Monday Morning as promised. If there is additional information that I feel you need in the next week or so, I will send it.
B.
19:05 Bubba to Nick
Nick Notes
This was regarding Red House's account with BulkRegister, a Domain Registrar. I had changed my password on BulkRegister soon after our conversation on 6/26 because it seemed plain that Bubba considered vbz.net to be in some way his, and I had no reassurance that he would not attempt to transfer the domain into his control. The BulkRegister account was and is entirely owned by Red House / Cox-Staddon, i.e. Red House paid the initial membership fee and the credit card used to pay for domain registrations/renewals was and is in Red House's name.
| Date: | Sat, 28 Jun 2003 19:05:35 -0400 |
| To: | nick@redhouse.com |
| From: | Bubba <b@vbz.net> |
| Subject: | Bulk Register |
N., reset the password at bulk register back to flurgle so I can check on the transfers of my domains.
B.
19:42 Bubba to Nick
| Date: | Sat, 28 Jun 2003 19:42:12 -0400 |
| To: | nick@redhouse.com |
| From: | Bubba <b@vbz.net> |
| Subject: | Bulk Register |
N., locking me out of Bulk Register is so lame. I only transferred MY domains so they wouldn't be caught in the middle of this squabble. I need to know how the transfer is going. I did this to alleviate you having the fiscal responsibility or control of them.
All of the ones that have the registrant starting w/BH are mine and I've paid for them already and now I want to get them out of your hands.
I have not nor will I do anything as you have by locking me out of my accounts and Lord knows I could have yesterday when I started the transfer. Since I didn't, I'd think that you'd say "Kewl, he's taking responsibility of his domains".
You keep doing things to hassle me and saying that I'm hassling you. How can you not see how backwards this is.
Please don't block this as I'm only trying to get my stuff out of your way to make it easier to go forward. If the transfers are proceeding and you're not being a block then this is a moot point.
B.
20:43 from Nick
| Message-ID: | <3EFE361F.50900@redhouse.com> |
| Date: | Sat, 28 Jun 2003 20:43:11 -0400 |
| From: | "N. Staddon" <n@redhouse.com> |
| User-Agent: | Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Win98; en-US; rv:1.4) Gecko/20030529 |
| To: | b@vbz.net |
| Subject: | testing b@vbz.net |
This is a test of b@vbz.net, let me know if you get this.
21:06 Nick to Bubba
| Date: | Sat, 28 Jun 2003 21:06:28 -0400 |
| From: | "N. Staddon" <n@redhouse.com> |
| To: | bubba@redhouse.com |
| Subject: | Re: Bulk Register |
The transfers are not going through; I'll do what I can to facilitate. Here's what I understand:
I received the following message (and another one for n2ug.com):
| You recently purchased a domain registrar transfer for QUALTRO.COM. In order to complete this transfer, the administrative contact information must be updated.
The administrative email address you supplied to us was: b@ltpga.com The administrative email address on file at the domain's current registrar is: nick@redhouse.com These two e-mail addresses MUST match in order to initiate the transfer, and the email address used MUST be valid. |
What doesn't make sense is that when I look in bulkregister.com, all addresses for these domains (admin, tech, and billing) are set to b@vbz.net, not nick@redhouse.com.
Assuming the contact emails were changed from nick@redhouse.com to b@vbz.net in between when this message was sent and when I logged in, it looks like you need to take the following actions:
1. Log in to bulkregister as BH2893-BR, if you have the password. I don't, and I'm trying to find out what it is; if you already have it, then I'll stop trying. If you don't already have it, then the problem gets more complicated.
(Note: I suspect this is how we should have been handling BulkReg all along, with each of us having our own separate log-in. It may be a new feature, though; it's not clear.)
2. Assuming you can log in as BH2893-BR, change your contact email to b@ltpga.com
3. Re-initiate the transfer at godaddy (if that's who it was).
While I was researching all that, a request came in from BulkReg for approval of transferring qualtro.com; I okayed it. If that goes through, then we may not have to follow the steps above after all. It may be held up at the other end, though, because of the mismatch.
Note: b@vbz.net is no longer being forwarded to you. Please adjust the return address on your email program, and don't use it as a contact email for domains.
Thanks,
Nick