User:Harena/Benjy-Quotes

Decided this would be the best place to archive the Best of Benjamin Quotes. Easier to do by date & access & stuffnthings. Right. Onwards!

For context, Benjamin was born in April of 1999

(Quotes that are Highlighted have been used as my LJ Headline)

2003

• May 23, 2003:
  • "I'm not smiling because my face is not cooperating"
• October 21, 2003:
  • "Woozle, we don't put fire in we're mouth!"

(and no, i have no memory of what precipitated this remark; Woozle says he said something to me {he can't remember what} and apparently Benjamin interpreted it to mean something like having fire in one's mouth...)

• October 24, 2003:
  • "I am not a silly boy, I am a crying boy and I need a hug"
  • ...said when i was giving him a hug & telling him he was silly because 'cause he was crying over something that silly me thought was silly

2004

• January 1, 2004:
  • Benjamin comes trotting into the office & says to me, "You have to be happy mommy.. here, I will kiss you on the elbow and that will make you happy" and then does so.
• May 2, 2004:
  • In reference to the window that was leaking water during the wee thunderstorm & deluge we had.. this was after it was over:
  • "Nothing is coming through by there!"
  • Also, just before that when the sun sorta came back out he said:
  • "The thunderstorm is gone! Now the thunderstorm makes it back morning!

We can't touch the thunderstorm. It makes us scared."

(and yes, that was said all in the same breath)

• May 3, 2004:
  • Re: Balloons gradually shrinking due to loss of air:
  • "These balloons are getting aired off"
• May 6, 2004:
  • On the way to daycare this morning, in the middle of his usual free associating, he came out with this:
  • "When I was your age, Woozle." (pause) then (after some prompting) "I was like your age."

Hollywoodbush

Part 1 May 6, 2004 (PM): Benjamin notices that my arm has scratches on it & asks where they came from: Me: I got them when we cut down the holly bush. Benjamin: holly bush? You mean Hollywood? Part 2 May 7, 2004: He asks again about the scratches, I answer as I had the previous day (from cutting down the holly bush)... the following exchange ensues: B: holly bush? Woozle: Is that like Hollywood? B: Hollywood? Nooooooo, we didn't cut down Hollywood!! Part 3 Date Uncertain; Originally Posted to LJ on May 16, 2004: B: mommy, where'd you get the scratches on your arm? M: from cutting down the holly bush B: holly bush? is that like Hollywood? M: Noooo.... we didn't cut down Hollywood! B: *giggling furiously* Yes you did!

• May 7, 2004:
  • "If you drink water you might grow down like a baby"

• May 23, 2004:
  • During the thunderstorms, Benjamin was heard to say something along these lines (in reference to our house):
  • The house is afraid. But the house doesn't have legs to stand up with. The house can't run away.
  • (No quotes 'cause i'm doing this one from memory & i am kinda paraphrasing from a half asleep state)
• May 27, 2004:
  • That morning from the bathroom, I overheard this being said by Benjamin:
  • "My shadow is eeeeviiil"
  • (I fell off the toilet laughing)

• May 29, 2004:
  • Today whilst Woozle was installing the tow-hitch thingy to the Windstar (so's we can haul some or all of his stuff from Georgia next week) the following conversation ensued:
  • B: What are you doing, Woozle?
  • W: Installing a trailer-hitch...
  • B: A trail-hinge?
  • W: ...so we can bring back a whole bunch of stuff from Georgia
  • B: Georgia? You mean George the monkey?
  • (as in Curious George, i guess!)
• May 30, 2004:
  • It was raining this morning and B wanted to go out in it... he likes to do that.. pull on his boots & get his umbrella and walk in the rain a la Christopher Robin (and yes, he does have black wellies just like CR's ^_^) and so he does....
    
    
  • ...a few minutes later he comes in & announces that he had to come back in because...
  • "The rain is broken."
  • (it had stopped raining!)
• June 6, 2004:
  • This first part is sort of paraphrased 'cause I don't remember exactickly what was said, but the punchline is word for word!
  • B: I'm not feeling well
  • M: Oh? What's the matter?
  • B: My feelings are empty
  • (he was hungry & wanted lunch!)

• June 10, 2004:
  • I did a :P at B in the car on the way home from picking him up & he responded with:
  • "Don't stick out your tongue when you are dead!"
  • I fell over laughing... good thing Woozle was driving!

• June 12, 2004:
  • Whilst sitting on my lap:
  • "I'm getting all heavy on you"

• June 15, 2004:
  • In reference to the clouds breaking up & the sun coming out, he said:
  • "The clouds are melting! All of everything is melting!!"

• June 25, 2004:
  • "It's almost starting to done."

• September 5, 2004:
  • "I'm going around like an American-Going-Round" (Merry-Go-Round)

• September 20, 2004:
  • This morning upon looking into our front-loader washing machine as it was running, he said:
  • "Oh no! The Soap died!! He drunk too many waters so he *died*!"
  • [fx of me scrambling for pen & paper to write it down!]

• Later...
  • "The thunderstorm fired all the trees"

• October 9, 2004:
  • Benjamin started my morning out thusly:
  • I get up & go to the bathroom. Upon leaving the bathroom, Benjamin greets me with this little ditty:
  • (Sung to the tune of Here We Go Around The Mulberry Bush)
  • This is the way we kill the moms,
  • Kill the moms, kill the moms;
  • This is the way we kill the moms, kill them all to death!
  • (I should note the next verse was "this is the way we kill the dads" so I guess it was nothing personal! ;D)

• Sometime in 2004 (probably June):
  • "Mommy? I was making up a story. I was making up a 'Let's go riding in the CarCar story.' And that's all"

2005

• March 11, 2005:
  • This'un is only paraphrased rather than directly quoted 'cause, golly, it happened at 6:20 in the freakin' morning!
  • Upon seeing what the tooth fairy brought for the first tooth he lost, he uttered:
  • "I have a dollar & now I can get money with it!"

• March 16, 2005:
  • So Benjamin lost another tooth & put it under his pillow for the tooth fairy & this morning when he retrieved the dollar he got, this is what he said:
  • "I got another dollar!! And it's got George Washington! And he's *STILL* dead!!!"

• September 13, 2005:
  • "People who have too much poop in their butts throw up"

• October 15, 2005:
  • "Pip isn't a real human. He's a cat"

• October 19, 2005:
  • Benjamin comes up to me & says:
  • "I have to whisper something in your ear"
  • and I say, "okay" & he whispers (very solemnly),
    
    
  • "Life Goes On"

• November 23, 2005:
  • Re: The Pumpkin Bread baking in the oven:
  • "It's drying up & raising right now"

• November 23, 2005:
  • Hands me the yarn winder after playing with it so much that it came off the chair arm it was attached to:
  • "...now put it somewhere I can't reach it to spin it"

• December 2, 2005:
  • Wanders into the office and says:
  • "The smell of the lambchop is giving me happy company!"
  • ...and then wanders back out again...

• December 3, 2005:
  • Both he & Zander were hanging off the back of the couch and the following was quoth:
    • "B&Z: A giant cockroach! that we can kill!"
    • "B: with our cockroach torture machine!"
  • same day, different time:

    • "you make us die of laugh!"

• December 20, 2005:
  • After being told something a second time, he said he knew because:
  • "...early ago you told me."

• December 25, 2005
  • "It's fun climbing on top of your mom's friend. Who is strong, and sometimes tired." (Referring to climbing on Woozle's shoulders and being carried around)

• December 31, 2005
  • "The nice thing about water is that you don't have to chew it"

2006

• January 1, 2006
  • After showing us a picture he made "of Watership Down" which largely consisted of snails, cars, and "POLICE - 911" signs, which he had done in Tuxpaint, he uttered this:
  • "Next I'm going to do a picture of *not* Watership Down! I'm going to do a picture of the field covered with *blood*, and making everyfing *die*!"

• January 24, 2006
  • Whilst swinging furiously on the swingset:
  • "I'm getting really better at swinging! Soon I won't need anyone to push me anymore!"

• February 24, 2006 6:39pm
  • After smelling daffodils with me:
  • "Daffodils have good effects on your evilness. It hurts your evilness."

• February 26, 2006 (sometime before 7:49am; just not sure when)
  • "One nice thing about crayon sharpeners; They can make the paper come back on"

• February 26, 2006 7:49am
  • Whilst doing crayon-art:
  • "I'm always thinking of pretty colors. Like brown."
  • (he had just pulled out a brown crayon)

• March 6, 2006 6:27pm
  • "When I'm growned up & have my own computer, I'm going to put Dr. Who on it"
  • (Said as we were about to watch Dr. Who on W's computer)

• March 26, 2006
  • Right after Bedtime Story, he said:
  • "I have to say something to you...   Mommy, I like how you smell..."
  • *sniffs*    "You smell like good-looking girl."

• April 6, 2006
  • "You made me nearly [knock over the laptop] and nearly make this house burn down because lesstricity wif wood makes fire! So you nearly made this house burn down!"

• April 20, 2006
  • "The more we don't get fresh air, the more we won't be able to breathe right"

• May 9, 2006
  • "That took a little bit of a long time."

• May 11, 2006, Woozle's Birthday!
  • During an amusing conversation about how old Woozle is today, Benjamin uttered:
  • "You have to be somewhere around Not Old"

• July 19, 2006
  • "Where they were is where they're not anymore!" – in reference to Kevin's parents at the end of Time Bandits

• July 22, 2006 10:53am
  • It's a good thing Mel can't be melted by fire."

• August 4, 2006
  • After receiving a thingy that Anna Nikola made & gave to him:
  • "This is like a present except it isn't my birthday or Christmas or anything!"

-- (as told to me by Anna Nikola)

• October 1, 2006
  • Overhead from the living room as B&Z are playing video games. He admits it!
  • Z: Are you mad?
  • B (cackling furiously): I'm a Mad Man!

• October 7, 2006
  • Whilst recording his own creation on the Yahama Keyboard:
  • "I filled up the *whole* recordment!"

• ...and then moments later, whilst doing a "story":
  • "Terristis are here!" (say it out loud)

• October 8, 2006
  • After seeing me for the first time after Woozle had trimmed my bangs:
  • "You look more wide awake than wide asleep. Your eyes are wide open."

• October 27, 2006
  • "If there's thunder and the power goes out, we won't be able to do stuff...
  • Unless the power comes back on."

2007

• January 11, 2007
  • Whilst picking up his dirty clothes from the floor:
  • "All this clothing is under-arrested for stealing the floor!"

• January 25, 2007
  • He gets in the car from school with a balloon that has a face drawn on it... and on the way home, he explains:
  • "Mr. Balloon doesn't need to eat or drink but he can die of Being Popped"
  • And
  • "He'll never get old even though he's an adult still"

• February 18, 2007

B:	momomomomom!
Me:	BenBenBen!
B:	I love you!
Me:	I love you too!
B:	Whenever I say "I love you" to someone, invisible hearts appear over my head

• February 22, 2007
  • "There's, like, infinity in the whole wide world"
  • In reference to the lowly earthworm's domain & possibly their perceptions of it.

• March 1, 2007
  • "We Humans can get sick... ...Sometimes Humans die of being sick."

• April 3, 2007
  • "Everywhere we look... there's a Noun. Nothing can prevent there being a Noun... Because if all the nouns were destroyed, we would have a Noun: Nothing."

• May 23, 2007
  • To a new babysitter:
  • "I'm the crazy one that usually falls down."

• July 28, 2007 at 12:27pm
  • As he was waving goodbye to me after being dropped off with his dad:
  • "See you sometime else!"

• September 09, 2007 at 12:17pm
  • He was requesting a movie to watch & I mentioned that I was thinking of playing a movie for Josh but that I didn't think he'd be interested in one of those and he responded with,
  • "I prefer watching violence."

• November 13, 2007 at 6:06pm
  • Whilst making scrambledy eggs for Benjamin (he helpt! ^_^) the following interchange occurred:

B:	Wow, you've got a lot of experience with making scrambled eggs!
Me:	Well, i have been making them for nigh on 30 years now.
B:	(with appropriate amazed look on his face) You're older than Thirty?
Me:	i am older than thirty.
B:	Coooooool.

2008

• January 8, 2008
  • Randomly:
  • "The weed wacker Prevails"

• May 2, 2008
  • Bouncing about at 6:30am:
  • "I'm Enerjective this morning!"

• Sept ?, 2008
  • "Zander would have had a heart attack of joy [...to see so many chickens at Spence's Farm]!"

• December 23, 2008
  • At Sarah's House of Clay Camp:
  • "Like me, Zander has acts of kindness in him; mine are just more random."

2009

• February 12, 2009
  • "You have to get used to the days you are in"

• March 7, 2009
  • "Zander -- if you find any gerbils named Godzilla, don't let them *anywhere* near our five-dollar bills."

• May 31, 2009
  • Z: If Pip were poingy, you'd know he was sick
  • B: Either that or Pip & Kestra's brains got switched!

• September 4, 2009
  • Whilst running around in the living room "doing a story (with Z)":
  • "Where is everything?? I can't pick my nose!"

• September 19, 2009
  • "The more the merrier except when it comes to babies"

• September 29, 2009
  • "My eyeballs recognize this place by heart"

• October 3, 2009
  • "Compassion is a very good source of happiness"

2010

• June 21, 2010
  • "I'm glad mom doesn't look her age"

• And then:
  • "I really had no idea how old you were... I thought you were in your 20's!"

• November 28, 2010
• To Zander whilst Z was playing Minecraft
  • "You react to cows like Old People react to kids on their lawn!"

2011

• March 26, 2011
• Whilst downstairs making me scrambled eggs & bacon:
  • "Mom is helping me make breakfast by wanting it"

• Also (as best remembered by W):
  • "If you don't like to see people smile, you may be needing to see a psychiatrist."

• May 1, 2011

• And now for the latest and possibly misunderstood overheard from the other room Benjy Quote:
  • "Speaking of the dogboy, here come the Romans!"

• October 2, 2011

• Possibly responding to a notification/alarm on his computer:
  • "Get out of my face, Ubuntu -- you're making me die!"

2012

• February 16, 2012
  • "My name is Benjamin Smith.
  • You Annoy Me.
  • Prepare to Die"

• March 23, 2012
• After eating dinner:
  • "I appear to have made a mess of myself"

2015

2015-01-19 "'I'm almost out of volcanoes,' said a sleep-deprived Benjamin after finding out that he was nearly out of lava droplets." – Benjamin

2015-02-06 "The pomegranates are reproducing! asexually... as ghosts."

2015-04-27 "We're supposed to be getting ready to go and not talking about vampire boners."

• October 10, 2015
• Whilst Minecrafting
  • '"I have aquired[sic] a wellspring of ability to sleep"

2016

• March 2, 2016
• Upon seeing a pangolin
  • 'It's a freaking sloth in armor plating!'

2017

As documented by Benjamin and Zander:

• "It's been a while since we last did RWBY crack after ten." — Benjamin, June 20^th, after 10

• "I only ever do RWBY Heroin." — Zander, June 20^th, after after 10

• July 16
• Re: Boss in Monster Den
  • "Damn them for being as smart as me!"

• November 4, at about 5pm
  • "God, Pip, you make a horrible machine-gun." (B helped me remember the quote later.)

• Some Time in 2017:
• From a box top:
  • "I'm not the best at Logic even if I'm really good at it"

2018

• "Pip makes a good pillow until he starts thrashing." — January 14, 3:30pm:

• May 20, 2018
  • from Discord at 8:45ish pm
  • '* first come first serve on predicting when I die — May 20, 8:45pm

• August 6, 2018
  • "Now if we could just find another duo-syllabic word that starts with "P" and it fits, that would be perfect."
  • ~Realization~
  • "Oh shit."

• Some time around November 15, 2018
  • Whilst playing RWBY: Amity Arena
    • "Here come the scorpions" *giggles*

2019

• February 10, 2019
  • from Discord at 7:30ish
    • "God, why does it have to be a hundred thousand puppies? Why can't it be something reasonable, like ten thousand?"

• September 14, 2019
  • During a water outage, B donned rubber gloves so to make clean-up post handling bacon & eggs easier... the process was more difficult than anticipated and along the way, he uttered this:
    • "I can fart through latex!"

2021

• January 1, 2021
  • at 3:20ish AM
    • "Well, I can get rid of two zeroe's[sic] really easy. Chop-chop, there they go. On the floor.

• July 26, 2021
  • "I don't know how I feel about role-playing lesbians with my brother"

2023

• May 31, 10:36 AM - from the living room:
  • "No-one cares. We're here for the gay."

• June 21
  • Draconic Noble — 03/08/2023 10:13 PM:

    One day, I will face the Worm alone

    ...

    and on that day I shall say "EAT LEAD, DoG!"

  • Draconic Noble — Today at 5:33 PM:

    Today is the day...

  (He then did indeed proceed to shout this loudly in a gutteral voice.)

• June 23 12:48pm

  "You might as well build it with swords -- we know you can't do it with yo-yos!"