SvsG:Mediation Notes

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Staddon vs. Griever: Mediation Notes

Nick Notes

Although I suspect very much that the defendants will still be taking a position that they are the wronged party, my lawyer has suggested that a list of non-monetary items which I would consider as partial compensation (in lieu of cash) might help reach a settlement. I have come up with the following items and terms.


  • All details of the settlement to be made public
  • Written statement to end with "We state the above in all sincerity, of our own free will, believing it to be true, and not merely as a means of reaching a legal settlement in this matter." or words to that effect.
  • Written statement that they were not in any way involved with perpetration of the following events, if this is in fact the case:
    • The theft of Nick's white 1967 Dodge Coronet 440 station wagon
    • The theft of Nick's tabletop chop saw from the large porch at Red House in 2002
    • The theft of several of Nick's CDs from the control room (front bedroom) at Red House
    • The theft of an unknown quantity of t-shirts from Red House on June 9, 2002
  • Written acknowledgement that the accounting is essentially correct
  • Written thank-you for whatever portion of the debt is settled non-monetarily



I am presuming that all of the following will be returned; this will not count towards paying the debt settlement. Any significant portion of the expected remaining stock which cannot be returned will in fact add to the Grievers' monetary debt.

  • All Red House / vbz merchandise presently in their possession
  • An accounting of any items left in their possession but which they no longer have
  • All image discs, catalogs, samples, invoices, or any other materials received from suppliers

Xmas CD

  • Full copyrights (including rights to reproduce, record, publish, or license) all songs, lyrics, recordings, and artwork used on any version of the "Benefit CD"
  • Full copyrights as above for all songs performed on the back yard stage at Red House (recordings made on DAT)
  • Any remaining stocks of printed CDs
  • Any masters which were created for re-releases of the CD
  • Statement showing sales and expenses to date


  • Defendands to officially renounce any claims they may have on Cox-Staddon Enterprises, Inc., or any of its projects including but not limited to and Red House Media.
  • Defendants to officially state that any amounts they claim were owed to them by Plaintiffs were fabricated, as the amounts owed by Defendants to Plaintiffs always far exceeded any amount owed in the other direction.
  • All publication and movie rights to the story of our attempted business relationship, its subsequent failure and the resulting lawsuit
  • Items unprovably belonging to me, including the spool table, the dorm-sized fridge, the large ViewSonic CRT monitor, the computer named "Bubba" with high-end Creative media card, and the computer named "Waldorf"
  • Any of the missing CDs which they have been able to locate
  • Any other useful computer or musical equipment which they might have to offer in trade for reduction of their remaining balance (additional suggestions welcome)


I would also like a written apology for the following items:


  • Allowing the Benz to sit unrepaired and unused, while refusing to return it
  • Originating the idea of renting the Benz, agreeing to do it, taking possession of the Benz, and then failing to pay rent and ultimately denying that there had been a rental agreement and (finally) refusing to return the vehicle on request.


  • Negligently allowing the storage trailer, full of my belongings which I was paying them to store and keep safe, to be hauled off with no warning and no notification
  • The expense and loss of property which resulted from said negligence and from Lynne's extreme unhelpfulness towards my efforts to recover said property when I was on a tight schedule


I found the Grievers to be reasonable and friendly only when they were getting their way, with loans on demand, paybacks deferred indefinitely, and my resources and programming labor at their disposal. Whenever I would attempt to negotiate with them to reach a sustainable working arrangement, they would use any tactic available to avoid rational discussion, including changing the subject, finding excuses for delays (which they would usually try to blame on me), and ignoring and disparaging my efforts to draft a working agreement, while insisting on holding me to imagined verbal agreements that did not match my understanding of any discussions which might have taken place.

I would like the Grievers to acknowledge and admit to deliberate and calculated use of this behavior for their own personal gain at my expense.

I would also like apologies for the following specific instances of their bad behavior:

  • to Livia Wade, for their rudeness in attempting to claim renters' rights upon moving out of Red House when in fact they did not have any such rights as they were in Red House solely as my guests and for making unfounded derogatory statements about me in front of her and Anna (our daughter)
  • to Anna Staddon, for making unfounded derogatory statements about me in front of her on at least two occasions (both of which occurred when she was a minor child)
  • to Sandy Hall, for stating that she had "her hand up [my] butt" and claiming that she broke up my marriage to Livia Wade, when in fact the Defendants have no knowledge of the reason(s) for our separation and divorce, and for claiming that Sandy drove a wedge between myself and the Defendants when in reality Sandy did her best to be open and friendly with both Defendants.
  • to me, for:
    • General abuse of my good nature
    • Deliberate exploitation of my unreliable memory for their own gain
    • Repeatedly borrowing money with no intention of paying most of it back, and later trying to claim that I owed them money while refusing to give any kind of accounting either of their disagreements with my accounting or of the debt(s) which they claimed I owed them
    • Claiming partial ownership of and/or Red House when in fact they repeatedly refused to work on any sort of written agreement whereby such ownership might have been earned
    • Claiming that Bubba was in charge of and/or Red House and that I was his employee, in spite of many contradictions including the fact that the net flow of cash went in the other direction (i.e. the Grievers receiving donations and borrowing from me)
    • Littering the yard and woods around Red House with disabled vehicles, including a full-sized church activity bus which almost totally blocked the view from my office window for over a year
    • Bubba's generally abusive and condescending behavior, in particular calling me a pissy prick and sending a copy of the same rude comments to my father, in response to my final attempt to set some ground rules for a reasonable discussion
    • Bubba's childish behavior, as exemplified by his waving the Benz keys in my face, claiming he had already mailed them to me in Wisconsin and then claiming he had left them sitting in the Benz's ignition switch and I could have retrieved them at any time, and in general attempting to raise my ire and to reduce the level of discussion to something more like a playground brawl, while we were waiting for the police to arrive on November 25, 2003.
    • Lynne's extreme unhelpfulness on November 25, 2003 in being unwilling to assist in any way with the speedy recovery of my stored property which had been left in the paid care of her and Bubba, and for whose removal and subsequent damage she and Bubba were jointly responsible