Details for sitters

Kid-specific details

Josh

Ironically, Josh is in many ways the easiest of the three. At home, he normally keeps to himself and is almost self-sufficient. He never comes in the office, gets into screaming matches with his brothers, chases the cat, or demands things. The only things he needs (from day to day) that a normal 13-year-old wouldn't need are (1) being cleaned up after a number-two in the toilet (relatively easy; see below), and (2) food and drink preparation.

Josh's toileting: We keep a supply of surgical gloves on hand – 2nd drawer from the right in the kitchen. Josh is very cooperative; he stands calmly, will hold his shirt up out of the way on request, and let you clean until you say "ok, Josh, all done!" Fresh underwear is in the laundry room in the blue basket labeled "Josh" (change once a day should be fine). He only goes about every other day or so.

Other Josh issues: Sometimes Josh will get agitated, and it may be difficult to figure out what he needs; if you suggest food, he may run away to indicate you've guessed right... or you may just have to try a few things and see what solves the problem. Probably the best general way to calm Josh down, if you can't see anything obvious that can be fixed, is to just play one of his musicals (Mary Poppins is probably his favorite) on the TV (some are VHS, some are DVD). Sometimes he seems to get headaches (holds face/forehead, face looks flushed/droopy), and a little neck-massage seems to calm him down. He generally only needs to eat a proper meal (hotdogs, chicken, whatever) twice a day (unlike the other two, who seem to be starvingly hungry every half-hour or so, some days).

Drinks

Josh's main drink is orange juice, shaken (not stirred) and diluted approximately 50-50 with filtered water from the fridge. (If it is too diluted, he will either ignore it or pour it out in the sink.) He also will sometimes take water from the blue spray-bottle. When going on outings (visiting other houses, going to the park, etc.), he drinks Sprite-like drinks (usually "Mist") which are kept in the basement; he only likes them warm. We've been trying to wean him off these and onto using the blue spray-bottle of water, and it's probably ok at this point to only bring the sprayer unless the outing is longer than 1-2 hours and the sprayer might not be enough.

Snacks

Josh generally snacks on veggie-chips, which are kept above the chest freezer in the laundry room. The bag needs to be opened just a little and he can open it the rest of the way; these can be left out on the dining table for him to munch on in passing, and he will throw away the bag when it is empty.

Meals

His fall-back diet, for meals when we're not preparing something he likes, is now Quinoa pasta (dead simple: boil for 8 minutes, drain, and serve). It used to be hot dogs, which he seems to have gone off lately, but here are the instructions anyway:

• take frozen pack from the chest freezer (laundry room); microwave at 10% (careful not to accidentally select 70%!) for 8:88 (a.k.a. 9 minutes 28 seconds)
• open the pack, take out half of the dogs (usually 5), put on a plate and microwave on Defrost for 2:22 (usually I rinse off the ice first; they cook more evenly that way, and you don't end up with as much loose water)
• wait until Josh finishes, and repeat for the other half of the pack (he has been known to eat too fast and end up coughing up hot-dog chunks on the floor if given too many at once; 5-6 at a time seems to be okay)

Josh will also eat chicken in almost any form, as long as it is recognizably chicken and doesn't have too much other stuff mixed in. He also likes hamburger (no toppings) without the bun.

Benjamin

There is a list of foods Benjamin likes, posted on the kitchen wall just outside the office; he often goes to it for inspiration. Some of the items on the list will need grownup preparation, and feel free to call to ask where ingredients or cooking apparati can be found, if you can't find something. We've made sure to stock up on his current favorite, frozen Lasagna, which he can prepare for himself (although sometimes he decides he wants help); he just needs supervision to make sure that any unfinished portions get saved for later, and that messes don't accumulate on the table or the floor (we have found noodles in the bathroom floor...).

Every now and then, Benjamin will have night-terrors; all he usually needs is some soothing words, maybe an elbow to hold (he has a thing for elbows), or maybe someone to lie down with him for a few minutes. He went through a particularly bad phase of this a month or two ago, but hasn't had any since then (nothing that woke us up, anyway).

Zander

Zander is pretty self-sufficient as long as there are frozen foods, bread, or waffles. When Benjamin isn't around, Zander tends to go off and read for hours; when Benjamin is around, he is more likely to play (and sometimes get into disputes) with Benjamin, though sometimes they each go off and do their own thing. We've been trying to teach them about negotiated solutions, and they've been slowly improving at this.

General stuff

Morning Stuff

• Benjamin gets Stramonium and Zander gets Sulfur, 2-3 tablets each, first thing in the morning. (Benjamin may ask for more; I limit it to 4, not because more would be dangerous but just because it starts to get wasteful.) The bottles for these are in the rack to the left of the kitchen door, on the bottom row, to the right. We usually pour the tablets into the lid of the bottle and then overturn the lid directly into their mouths (skin contact supposedly reduces the effectiveness of homeopathics).

Meals

Zander usually takes care of himself for breakfast. Benjamin may need assistance; he sometimes wants to be read his list of things he likes (to the left of the kitchen door) in order to decide what he wants, and may or may not need help preparing it.

Our microwave is apparently about 30-50% stronger than a typical microwave, so cooking times need to be adjusted downward, e.g. 3:30 (three and a half minutes) becomes 2:22.

If you feel like preparing something (lunch or dinner): There's Quinoa and spaghetti; B & Z both like spaghetti, All three of them like Quinoa (Zander less enthusiastic, but will eat it or may decide to make something for himself)... B & Z both like frozen pizza (Josh usually does, I thought, but turned his nose up at it the other day), though the one left in the freezer isn't the toppings they like...

We put a whole chicken in the fridge for Friday dinner.

Pasta-type stuff (and rice) is in the cabinet to the right of the window above the kitchen sink. There's one frozen pizza left in the laundry room freezer, although it's not a type they especially like (forgot to get more of the 3-cheese type) but it might do in a pinch if there isn't anything else.

Rules

This is just the rules that I'm able to think of, typing this at the last minute.

• Kids
  • No kids in the office without adult permission and supervision. They tend to come in uninvited and sometimes we just don't have the energy to fight about it, but the rule is supposed to be that they ask first.
  • No kids in the basement. (I have, at times, allowed Benjamin to follow me down the stairs when I went to get something.)
  • No kids in the craft room or Mel's room (these are both locked anyway, and they haven't ever tried to unlock either of them... so far)
  • No kids in the master bedroom (where you'll be sleeping, at the end of the upstairs hallway)
  • No bullying Josh (many of the toys they like belong to him; unfortunately I don't have a list... but this hasn't been a problem for awhile)
  • No being mean to cats (this carries a very stiff point-penalty, and fortunately hasn't been a problem for awhile). "Meanness" includes chasing, hitting, threatening, or swatting at (unless in self-defense).
  • The computer downstairs belongs to Zander, but Zander usually allows Benjamin to use it and as a matter of practicality Josh often gets a turn as well (he tends to hover expectantly and sometimes gets upset).
  • The computer upstairs belongs to Josh, but the others are allowed to use it if Josh isn't (especially if Josh is on Zander's computer downstairs).
  • Nobody is allowed to threaten anyone else or hit anyone else with anything, or hit parts of the house with anything (especially the wood parts).

Hopefully you'll be keeping them engaged in other things so they won't get all focused on computer games ;-)

• Cats
  • Cats must stay indoors. Not allowed in basement, either (if you go into the basement for anything, be careful that the door has latched). If a cat somehow does get into the basement, just leave the door closed until you hear piteous meowing an hour or two later. Pip is the most likely animal to try "escaping" into the basement; Kestra hasn't done it in a long time.
  • Cats are generally fed twice a day, one half-scoop each from the food in the cabinet under the sink and to the right (near the wall). Benjamin can show you, and might even do the feeding himself. (We encourage this.)
  • Cats should be kept out of the laundry room if possible; they sometimes take liberties with the dirty clothes on the floor or the clean clothes in bags, baskets, etc. In general, keep the door closed; if a cat manages to get in, and can't be forcibly removed, then leave the door open and check back 5-10 minutes later.

Points

We have a "points" system for rewarding good behavior and discouraging bad behavior. It needs some revamping, but Z & B have certain things that they do for which they may ask for "points". The points-tracking sheet is on the hallway door in the dining area. If they ask you to write down points for stuff they have done, just make a note of the date and what was done (including quantities, e.g. how many clothes were put away or how many cans were crushed; those are the two main things they do). If they misbehave, you can either take points away without warning or use point-penalties as a threat. The range is generally from 1 (little negligent things we're trying to discourage) to 10 (stuff that's a problem and they really should have known better).

Evening Schedule

Sometime before dark (Fri. and Sat.), check outside the front door to see if any packages have arrived. The UPS and FedEx people have lately been very stealthy when they leave stuff, and we occasionally don't discover packages until the next day...

Supper is sometime between 6 and 7. 8:00 is bedtime. Benjamin usually asks for a cup of water after we're done reading, and we never remember to pre-emptively bring one with us when we go up for reading; maybe your memory will work better than that ;-).

We read until 8:30, generally one chapter (or 15 minutes, whichever comes first) from each from their current book, winding up at 8:30 or a little after on non-school nights. After that, we turn off their bedroom overhead light but leave the light by the door on as a night-light. They also sometimes play a sleep-music CD; feel free to turn this down if it is loud. The kids can get up for water after 8:30, but no running around or talking (at least not loud enough to hear). Obviously it's not a big deal if they oversleep, since it's a weekend, but Zander often has trouble getting up in the morning and we don't want to let him get into a night-owl mode.

After finishing with storytime, Sandy brushes Josh's teeth in the downstairs bathroom. Sometimes he will passively resist this, and if you don't feel like fighting with him about it, that's fine. Most times he is cooperative, but every now and then Nick has to physically lift him up off the couch (or bed), get him standing up, and aim him towards the bathroom. At that point he usually goes the rest of the way to the bathroom and doesn't try to escape. The strawberry toothpaste and the blue-handled toothbrush with the yellow bristles (both on the sink) are his. Sometimes you can even get him to do most of the brushing himself.