Bubba Business Primer

Disclaimer: well, what do I need to disclaim? This article is not a statement of specific events or facts but an observation of patterns over the course of time. As such, it is a statement of opinion (mine) and should not be taken as an accusation of wrongdoing. (Bad judgement or confusion, perhaps... and I'm not even going to say whose bad judgement or confusion that would be.)

The rules below are derived from notes I made on the evening of 6/24, shortly after Bubba's 2-hour-plus phone call of 6/24. They are based on what seemed to be happening in that phone call and in the conversation I had in person with Lynne and Bubba on 6/22. The 6/24 phone call was the final straw which convinced me that I had to pull the plug on Bubba's involvement in vbz.net (see 2003-06-27 SvsG Emails).

The patterns described below existed long before those two conversations, but it took this heavy exposure to L&B's conversational techniques to get me to seriously start noticing them (and taking notes).

The Rules

1: Nuke the High Ground. Accuse your opponent of doing what is obviously the right thing, but make it sound unethical and disloyal. If enough pressure is applied, you can fluster your opponent into denying the right thing they've been doing -- and then you've got them forked: either they are doing something that isn't quite the best thing, or else they are lying. Their situation becomes ethically ambiguous, leaving you as the only untainted moral authority.

2: Inflame and Enrage. Hurl very biting accusations at your opponent, in as calm a tone as possible. Don't give them time to respond rationally; keep changing the focus. Get them very worked up and angry/upset. When they raise their voice, ask them calmly why they are yelling at you, what all their "energy" is about. (Remember: their anger and "energy" comes from within them, not you; you're perfectly calm.)

3: The Rollercoaster Ride. When your opponent's energy level reaches an apparent peak from Technique #2, suddenly start talking business as if everything was fine, or could be fine if your opponent would just see things your way. Talk about the good things that can, or could, happen by working together. Hint at promising developments you haven't had time to talk about. Remember, your opponent is being divisive, not you. You are not the enemy; you just want to get along. (If your opponent sticks to their guns and won't let you change the subject, repeat #2 and #3 as needed; inflame and ride the rollercoaster until they are burnt out and seasick.)

4: Guilt Poker. Make sure your opponent holds all the cards (owns all the accounts, has all the passwords, et cetera). That way, you are always the injured party in any dispute (as well as being protected from liability). After all, you let them keep all that power and control -- you trusted them to use it fairly. This leaves your opponent wide-open to be charged with blatant abuse of that trust. Besides, the situation is plainly unfair from the start: they have everything, and you have nothing.

Business Tip: Always (albeit not overtly) discourage a business partner from making money on outside projects, even if your joint project is losing money and desperately needs an infusion of cash. (If, however, you are owed money for all the hard work you've put into that joint project, remember that it's always your partner's fault that you haven't been paid. This gives you a very powerful wedge to use when making sure your partner makes the Right Decisions later on.) Remember that money is measurable; you don't want your partner to have made any measurable contributions which might make an objective evaluation possible.

5: Classic Mirroring. Always accuse your opponent of your own bad habits and malfeasances; this makes it nearly impossible for them to accuse you of those same things. Should it happen, however, that your partner manages to get in a legitimate accusation before you've had a chance to use it, simply wait a few days and make the accusation anyway. It will seem fresh by then, and "But I already said that to you!" is a very lame comeback, and will only cost them points. (Be sure to include Classic Mirroring in your list of accusations at some point.)

6: The "Divine Intervention" Business Model. Remember: real progress only ever happens as a result of amazingly generous entities (distinguished older gentlemen who "love what we're doing" are especially easy to cast in this role), whom only you ever meet, possessing enormous amounts of cash which they're trying to unload (for tax reasons) in the "right place". For reasons that never quite become clear, that place could be your business -- once "we" accomplish certain things and impress the socks off them. The expected results of impressing these entities are always huge and vaguely defined. The exact things to be accomplished so as to impress them are also similarly vague, which gives you another good handle for determining the focus of your partner's work on a day-to-day basis.

7: Theory of Fiscal Abstraction. Remember: Money isn't real. This is a very important basic concept to grasp when running any business, especially a new business with start-up expenses and where dependable cashflow has not yet been established.