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| Either I'm not any good at this anymore, or else I've set my standards too high... but I'm always starting on these things, and haven't finished one since 1980.
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| I'm going to keep my notes here, though, so I can move on and stop worrying about losing them.
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| ==TMBG meets 9/11==
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| ===Part One===
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| We are here in New York City where an airplane has just flown into a skyscraper. A man on the sidewalk is running towards me. Sir, what did you see?
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| "Words fail -- buildings tumble..."
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| What seems to be happening to the buildings?
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| "Everything is catching, yes, everything is catching on fire"
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| I am here in the White House Press Room with President George W. Bush. Sir, what do you say to claims that the towers fell due to controlled demolition?
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| "People should get beat up for statin' their beliefs"
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| But sir, have you even started to look at the evidence?
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| "Don't, don't, don't let's start"
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| And what do you believe caused the terrorists to attack us?
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| "Youuuuth... culture..."
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| Uh-oh, building #7 seems to be collapsing too! <bell ringing from Nightgown of the Sullen Moon> Vice President Dick Cheney, can you tell us what is happening?
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| "I was just talking and / Someone interrupted / Or was it a loud explosion?"
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| Mr. Cheney, coming on the heels of the loss of two major skyscrapers, the sudden collapse of a third is shocking news. Do you have any words of encouragement for the American people?
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| "It ain't so bad as you paint it..."
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| Well it's certainly very fortunate that nobody was in the building when it fell. But sir, building #7 was not hit by an airplane. Why did it fall down?
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| "Don't, don't, don't let's start... I've got a weak heart..."
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| Very well, sir. Let's turn to the rescue and recovery efforts -- what do you think is the most important thing we need to look for?"
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| "They'll need a crane... to pick the broken ruins up again..."
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| I'm sure that's true, but I was thinking more of what evidence we should be looking for in the ruins. Do you have any suggestions?
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| "My metal detector... is with me all of the time..."
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| The demolition workers have begun taking the ruins apart with a crane -- but everything seems to be pulverised into tiny particles. I am speaking to the demolition workers now. Sirs, who could possibly have survived such a terrible explosion?
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| "Particle man, particle man..."
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| I have here Mr. Rudolf Giuliani, mayor of New York City. Sir, where will you be taking the evidence for analysis?
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| "Where your eyes don't go"
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| How do you think people will react to the results?
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| "It's a nightmare that you'll never be discovering"
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| Sir, don't you think that the evidence should be carefully inspected before it is hauled off for recycling?
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| "Don't, don't, don't let's start"
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| Without inspecting the evidence, how can we even be sure that the perpetrators are foreign rather than domestic?
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| "Because everyone's your friend in New York City"
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| The President is playing a video of a man who is supposedly Osama bin Laden. Let's listen in:
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| "I'll sink Manhattan... right under the sea... I'll find the sweetest spot to watch as it flows away."
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| Mr. President, the man in the video doesn't look very much like Osama. How could this possibly be him?
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| "Heeeee's a hypnotist"
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| But sir, comparing this man's features to file photos of bin Laden, how can you say they look at all similar?
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| "Don't, don't, don't let's start"
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| Sir, don't you think that if you persistently block inquiry into today's events, that there will eventually be consequences for your administration?
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| "These things happen to other people... they don't happen at all..."
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| We would like to continue this report, but it appears that our journalism grant from the Ford Foundation has been terminated. In closing, here is a recording of the official letter of termination:
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| "The bells are ringing, the song they're singing is bringing the people round... they hear the instructions, they follow directions, they travel great distances to this sound..."
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| ===Part Two (Mission Accomplished)===
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| It is now a year and a half since September 11, 2001. George Bush has declared victory in the United States invasion of Iraq, a country which was not involved in the events of that tragic day.
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| I am on the phone to Colin Powell, who put his reputation on the line stating that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction. Sir, now that we are in Iraq and have found no such weapons, what are your comments?
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| "Leave me alone, leave me alone..."
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| We are about to hear the final report of the official 9/11 Commission, charged by the President and Congress with the crucial task of explaining clearly, once and for all, just what happened on 9/11 and who is really responsible. Let's listen in:
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| [ several lines from Greek #3 ]
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| Unfortunately, the report appears to be gibberish. I am speaking now with the White House Press Secretary. Sir, the 9/11 Commission Report is complete nonsense. What is your response?
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| "A rich man once told me that life's a funny thing"
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| But sir, if the president doesn't re-open the investigation, where does that leave the American people?
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| "Slowly twisting... in the wind."
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| ===Part Three (6th anniversary)===
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| It is now the sixth anniversary of the terrible events of 9/11/2001. I am speaking with Karl Rove, who has recently retired as strategy advisor to the White House. Sir, was your job becoming too boring? What was a typical day like for you?
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| "Do the dumb things I gotta do. Touch the puppet head."
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| Have you often thought about what you would like to do when you are no longer working for the Bush administration?
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| [ several choice lines from If I Wasn't Shy ]
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| Thank you Mr. Rove. We are now speaking with President George W. Bush. Mr. President, what have you been doing for the past 6 years?
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| "I built a little empire out of some crazy garbage called the blood of the exploited working class"
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| Karl Rove recently resigned as your campaign manager. How did you and he first meet?
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| "A man came up to me and said 'I'd like to poison your mind with wrong ideas that appeal to you'"
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| Mr. President, many reputable scientists have accused you of hiding evidence from 9/11 and obstructing scientific investigation. Why would you do this?
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| "A microscope reveals the scope of my very best intentions"
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| Do you have any comment on the fact that three months before 9/11, long-standing air defense interception rules were changed to require direct authorization by the Secretary of Defense?
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| "Why they changed it I can't say -- people just liked it better that way"
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| There has been tremendous criticism of your actions, both domestically and in Iraq. Do you believe that you will ultimately be vindicated?
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| "History will decide"
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| What do you say to charges that you are a spineless would-be dictator with delusions of divinity who is being used as a puppet in an effort to destroy democracy?
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| "There's only one thing that I know how to do well, and I've often been told that you only should do what you know how to do well, and that's be you... be what you're like... be like yourself..."
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| But sir, don't you feel somewhat hypocritical about working against democratic principles while wrapping yourself in the flag?
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| "What's a man like me supposed to do... with all this extra savoir faire?"
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| Surely by now you must be aware that your strategy in Iraq has been disastrous. Why do you persist in demanding ever-increasing troop presence there?
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| "No one understands -- no one knows my plan!"
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| Do you have any final words of encouragement for the American people?
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| "Let's get those missiles ready to destroy the universe!!"
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| Thank you Mr. President. We are now speaking with a group of protesters, who say they have a message for the president. What is your message?
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| "It's a long, long rope they use to hang you soon I hope, and I wonder why this hasn't happened why, why, why."
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| You say the President has acted criminally, but Fox News says you are just a group of alienated conspiracy wackos. Do you have any comment?
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| "Alienation's for the rich, and I'm feeling poorer every day."
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| Who do you feel the most needs to be aware of your message?
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| "Mainstream USA, that's all I wanna say."
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| Thank you, sir and... what's happening here? Some men in black suits are coming up and... <fx of microphone being taken away> <agent speaks:> I'm sorry, sir, we're going to have to take you into detention for unamerican activities, including the use of satire for political purposes. If you'll just come along quietly, we promise not to hurt you. Much. Yet. <static... or maybe the ending sound from Spider>
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| ==Fahrenheit Top 40==
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| We are here in New York City where an airplane has just flown into a skyscraper. A man on the sidewalk is running towards me. Sir, what did you see?
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| "Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!"
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| And what is your reaction to this tragic event?
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| - misc possibly useful songs:
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| "It's the sad, sad truth of the dirty lowdown"
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| President Bush, what would you like to say to Osama bin Laden?
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| :"I guess you're just what I needed"
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| Sir, is that really what you meant to say?
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| :"Leave it to me ... everything will be all right..."
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| :"Nobody told me there would be days like these"
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| :"I don't wanna know the reasons why" - F. Mac
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| :"I don't know, I don't know" - Beatles
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| :"This I can't believe" - Beatles
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| :"Don't ask me why" - B. Joel
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| :"It's not true" - P.Mc.
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| :"Say it ain't so" -- Weezer
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| "You didn't hear it, you didn't see it, you won't say nothin' to no one, never tell a soul what you know is the truth
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| You didn't hear it, you didn't see it, you never heard it, not a word of it, oh how absurd it all seems without any proof." - The Who (on WTC7 collapse?)
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This page has been moved to Woozalia