View source for 2008-11-16 email to Z's teacher

==Full version==
[[category:2008-11-16]][[category:time]][[category:Zander/school]][[category:emails]]''This is the version I didn't send''

On Tuesday 11 November 2008 11:47:00 pm you wrote:
<blockquote>
<p>As for the ad analysis assignment, yes, magazines would do, and Becca has a
lot here, so Zander can borrow one to do it.  After he has done the
assignment, he will be making a collage based on his understanding of how
ad is created.  He may not get to it before Friday, but we have magazines
here that Zander can use, so don't worry about buying anything.</p>

<p>Taking pictures of food labels would work, so you won't have to empty out
the content.</p>
</blockquote>
I just thought I should drop you a note about this, because our part in this assignment -- taking Zander out to a store so he can photograph food labels (I think he said he had decided on hot dogs, and the assignment requires seven different brands -- I'm not even sure we'll find that many in one store!) -- is proving to be rather difficult.

We do our shopping during the day, when all 3 kids are in school. By the end of the day we are pretty much exhausted and neither of us feel like going out -- especially without the other grownup, which we would have to do unless we were going to make it an expedition and bring the two younger kids along (thus making it more exhausting but at least spreading the load a bit), assuming Josh has been taken care of (which he is *most* days). If Josh is here, then there's no question; one of us needs to stay here, and it would probably be me -- who is also the better one for driving kids out places solo if absolutely necessary.

Weekends, there is nobody to take care of Josh, so again this would have to be one of us taking Z out.

This particular Saturday I had several things I would have liked to do out of the house (work on fixing a client's computer, get some lumber, get computer parts) but didn't because I was too exhausted and had a headache most of the day *and* Josh was acting edgy *and* we were expecting that Josh's dad might be willing to take him for part of the day (which he did -- but that meant, again, that we both needed to be here so one of us could drive Josh out to Cary, so I needed to be here until that happened -- which finally happened in the middle of the afternoon, and it was getting dark by the time I got back).

Sundays, Sandy goes to her weekly String Thing meetup, which lasts much of the day. I may be able to take Z out to the store after she gets back (depending on how late it is and how tired I am and how well Josh is behaving), but frankly I kind of dread the idea of going around a grocery store with a kid and a camera, even if we do have a few things we could buy there to make it less awkward.

Having one more thing on my plate (i.e. taking Z out to the store) also takes energy away from things like talking with Sandy about what to do regarding John Curry, sending out emails to try and make forward progress with Josh's situation, and so forth (not to mention my own work and projects).

So... this isn't so much to complain as to give you some idea of how these assignments impact us, and to hope that you'll see what Zander is up against and be understanding if he doesn't seem to be able to complete certain parts of some assignments as quickly as his classmates do. It isn't his fault; it's our state of being somewhat held hostage by the life we are leading that is the problem.

If this kind of assignment (where part of it requires us to go out somewhere) is going to be happening regularly, I may be able to recruit Z's grandmother to help out. She is good with both kids and grocery stores (she has even happily taken Josh shopping -- something we dread!) -- but it would help greatly if we had some notice in advance of the assignment being given so we could make sure she is available.

Much thanks,

Nick (on behalf of Nick and Sandy, parents of Zander)
==Sent version==
...

I just thought I should drop you a note about this, because our part in this assignment -- taking Zander out to a store so he can photograph food labels -- is proving to be rather difficult. (I'm assuming that one store will be enough, but I'm not even sure this is the case; I believe Z said that the assignment requires seven different brands of a given product, and that he had decided on hot dogs... I suppose there must be seven different brands of hot dog out there, but how many stores will we have to visit in order to find them?)

Without going into too much detail, I'll just say that it is proving to be a challenge to find both the time and the energy (at the same time) to take Z out to do this. We could fairly easily take the photos ourselves, across the course of our weekly shopping, but I'm assuming the photography is part of the assignment. Taking either of the kids out shopping is just not something that's easy to fit into our chaotic schedule, even when it's absolutely vital (e.g. getting new shoes).

In general, we're in a situation that most families don't have to deal with -- mainly a nonverbal autistic (and very strong) teenager in the home, as well as parents with social anxiety -- and we're hoping that you'll understand that Zander may not be able to complete certain parts of some assignments as quickly as his classmates do if those assignments involve action on our part. It's our fault, not his.

If this kind of assignment (where part of it requires us to go out somewhere or be actively involved somehow) is going to be happening regularly, it would help greatly if we had some notice in advance of the assignment being given so we could make plans in advance rather than trying to squeeze something in the day before (or the week after) the assignment is due.

Much thanks,

...