The Plan

I first heard this joke while working at Pierce Manufacturing circa 1998; I've probably got a version written down somewhere that is more faithful to how I originally received it, but at the moment I have no idea where... so this is reconstructed from memory. --Woozle 19:08, 8 March 2012 (EST)

In the beginning was The Plan.

And The Plan moved across the face of the vasty deep, collecting change orders and annotations, until at last it did cross the desks of the Engineers.

And the Engineers did look upon the plan in all its glory, and saw that it was a festering heap of pestilence that did reek greatly and vexingly.

And the Engineers in their wisdom did grimace in pain, and ventured without their cubicles to enter unto the offices of the Managers.

And the Engineers did humbly beseech unto the Managers that the Plan was indeed a festering heap of pestilence, yea and verily, and begged it be removed from their sight.

And the Managers looked upon The Plan, and found it troublesome in their sight.

And so the Managers took The Plan unto the Marketers, saying "lo, we have examined this Plan in great detail, and have determined that it is a great steaming pile of horse excrement, and it doth stink all the way from the storage sub-basement unto the very tops of the cooling towers."

And the Marketers, in their wit and sagacity, did observe that The Plan was indeed a large quantity of natural fertilizer with a scent that was extremely powerful.

And so the Marketers went forth, yea, unto the very CEO -- profit be upon him! -- and did say unto him: "O great CEO, in whose eyes we are less worthy than the lowliest part-time janitor, we beseech you to accept this plan that we have examined in great detail -- for lo, it containeth much that promotes growth, and it is very powerful!"

And the CEO saw that the plan promoted growth, and was indeed very powerful. And The Plan became the new corporate long-range mission -- yea, unto the seventh quarter projections and beyond.

Here endeth the lesson.