Annoying Wisteria Vine Candle

Preface

This was a parody of the "Climbing Magnolia Tree Candle" text, and there's a story that goes with it. Will post once I have all the pieces together. Originally written 2002-12-31. --Woozle 16:13, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

Text

For uncounted years a Creeping Wisteria (Subterraneous Globaldominatus) was part of Hall Gardens. Its underground horizontal motion, often in excess of the legal speed limit, presented a challenge to infuriated gardeners who called it the "Annoying Wisteria". The trunk and limbs became a veritable register of attempts to stop its endless spread. All this activity was an indication of heartfelt feeling for the vine but it unknowingly had no effect whatsoever.

This candle is from one small section of the Annoying Wisteria Vine's many sub-branches and is a memento to evoke memories of many winter evenings spent excavating sewer pipes.