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Why are you so out and out against religion? Is there a logical reason for your dislike of it? You sick of it? Think it's not the answer? I'm sometimes against the religion we have – the practical stuff. The spiritual stuff wasn't meant for us to talk about anyway.

I need to write a great deal more about this, stretching from before the Jenny-era until long after it.

At the time, though... I think I mainly just didn't like the idea of people telling other people to do and believe things that don't make sense... and especially the idea of this fundamentally good person being led to buy into beliefs and rituals that were basically bad.

Since then, I've come to understand a lot more about how religion is actively harmful (as opposed to just being something I "dislike"), but also how it's just one of many tools used by authoritarians to control people. Religion isn't the problem; authortiarianism is the problem, and authoritarian religion is just one manifestation of that.

The fact that Jenny was sympathetic to it, though, forced me to stop automatically dismissing religion. I had to really think about it, and tended to be way too tolerant of it for another couple of decades.

Chris told me to tell Cindy to go to hell "She has no right to even question your actions." I've got to calm him down a bit. He doesn't know Cindy. Confirmation is a fading subject – it wasn't terrible exciting to begin with. Sometimes I think that it would be good if you got hold of my note book and read it. Though I would probably kill you.

The evidence from Sandy's memory suggests that we do in fact have Jenny's notebook in a closet, but it's going to take some digging to uncover it; it got stashed there during the Josh years. I hope it's actually there. And then Jenny can arise from her ashes and kill me, and that will be ok.

I hope my ongoing undeliverable letter to her is there also (though that seems unlikely) because I can't seem to find it anywhere. I'm hoping it's with the Tigger notebooks, wherever it is, because I can't seem to find them either (and I'm pretty sure I've seen those since moving up here). It's all a bit nerve-wracking, really. We're going to go closet-mining sometime after January 1, and see what turns up.

Here I am writing a guy I can talk to in school or call on the phone, while a letter from a guy 400 miles away goes unanswered! Nick!


I have spent all my time writing this after school..... Do something productive.....

[ line-art that looks vaguely like "LOVE" ]
Bye for now,
letter transits cursive*:
sorry I kept slipping
into cursive – when
I am not used to
writing in print

they're all that's left you....__

*postscript you idiot!

Even then, I hated being called a "guy", but couldn't really object to it, because what was she supposed to call me? "Guy" is at least better than "man" or even "boy".

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