Woozle/Jenny/note/006 - Revision history

Woozle: FB link

2017-11-09T01:10:59Z

FB link

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:10, 9 November 2017
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	I think maybe the "mask of lies" sign-off was kind of a sideways apology.		I think maybe the "mask of lies" sign-off was kind of a sideways apology.
			==Discussion==
			* [https://www.facebook.com/woozalia/posts/10155287738222695?comment_id=10155288148437695&reply_comment_id=10155288211252695&notif_id=1510170231966375&notif_t=feed_comment Erika and I discuss this and Note 7 on Facebook for a bit]
	==Scans==		==Scans==
	[[File:1980-11-06 jrh 006p1.adj-xpar-1600pxw.png\|600px]]		[[File:1980-11-06 jrh 006p1.adj-xpar-1600pxw.png\|600px]]

Woozle: decided this is where I should write about "the thinker elsewhere"

2017-11-08T15:24:20Z

decided this is where I should write about "the thinker elsewhere"

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:24, 8 November 2017
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	<blockquote>{{i/sub\|transcript}}</blockquote>		<blockquote>{{i/sub\|transcript}}</blockquote>
	==Comments==		==Comments==
	The feelings expressed here become {{lc\|Jenny/thinker elsewhere\|a recurring theme}} later ~~on,~~ though camouflaged by a great deal of positive interaction in the interim. I ~~have~~ to ~~quote something she said~~ in ~~her very last note (not counting the poem or the birthday card)~~, ~~#{{l/same\|114}} dated February 1 1982, the only plain-prose note she gave~~ me ~~after The Unfriending of Xmas 1981:<blockquote>"The thoughts on the page and the thinker~~ elsewhere~~" That~~ so ~~well describes my feelings~~ to~~[ward] you since, well,~~ the ~~beginning~~. I ~~just have difficulty dealing with you.</blockquote>~~I don't ~~want~~ to ~~get ahead of myself~~, ~~but reading this note inescapably brings me~~ to that ~~one and the terrible feelings it evokes~~.		The feelings expressed here become {{lc\|Jenny/thinker elsewhere\|a recurring theme}}, reiterated in later notes (and probably in person) though camouflaged by a great deal of positive interaction in the interim.

			I've always understood her to be saying that reading my notes felt abstract and pure but seeing me in person felt awkward at best, and induced a strong wish for me to be elsewhere so she could retreat to the safety of writing. I consoled myself by reading into it a bit of shock and dismay that she found herself feeling this way (in contrast to her more positive feelings about our written correspondence, not to mention how she felt about friends who were lucky enough to be ''outwardly'' female), but I don't know if that's really there.

			This is the first time I've tried to formulate this and put it into more direct language; it always hurt too much, before, to think about the fact that she felt [[woozle/Jenny/note/009\|embarrassed]] or even repelled by my physical presence.

	At the time, I did catch that she was having a hard time dealing with my physical presence, but reassured myself that everything was okay because she ended it with a statement that we should talk more about it. I always liked talking with her. As long as we were talking, everything could be okay.		At the time, I did catch that she was having a hard time dealing with my physical presence, but reassured myself that everything was okay because she ended it with a statement that we should talk more about it. I always liked talking with her. As long as we were talking, everything could be okay.

			On a subconscious level, I think I very much took this on board (which certainly didn't do anything positive for my self-esteem) ''and'' kind of already agreed with her. I didn't like being physically male either... but at that time, I believed that it was an intrinsic quality inextricably tied to genetics and immutable physical attributes ''and'' my nature as a person. {{l/woozalia\|Me/gender identity/paradox\|I was very confused.}}

			Since beginning my transition, I've often wondered if maybe my writing evoked an image of a more female person, and the cognitive dissonance of this being connected to my outwardly-male appearance was what repelled her. I like that theory, and I'm sticking to it until counterevidence shows up...

			In her very last note (not counting the poem or the birthday card), #{{l/same\|114}} dated February 1 1982, the only plain-prose note she gave me after The Unfriending of Xmas 1981:<blockquote>"The thoughts on the page and the thinker elsewhere" That so well describes my feelings to[ward] you since, well, the beginning. I just have difficulty dealing with you.</blockquote>I don't want to get ahead of myself but reading this note inescapably brings me to that one, and the terrible feelings it evokes.

			I think maybe the "mask of lies" sign-off was kind of a sideways apology.
	==Scans==		==Scans==
	[[File:1980-11-06 jrh 006p1.adj-xpar-1600pxw.png\|600px]]		[[File:1980-11-06 jrh 006p1.adj-xpar-1600pxw.png\|600px]]
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	[[Category:Dates/11/06\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]		[[Category:Dates/11/06\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]
	[[Category:Includes\|I/sub]]		[[Category:Includes\|I/sub]]
			[[Category:Jenny/thinker elsewhere\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]
	[[Category:Jenny notes\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]		[[Category:Jenny notes\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]
			[[Category:Links\|Lc]]
	[[Category:Months/11\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]		[[Category:Months/11\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]
	~~[[Category:Jenny/thinker elsewhere\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]~~

Woozle: thinker elsewhere

2017-11-08T12:30:07Z

thinker elsewhere

← Older revision		Revision as of 12:30, 8 November 2017
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	<blockquote>{{i/sub\|transcript}}</blockquote>		<blockquote>{{i/sub\|transcript}}</blockquote>
	==Comments==		==Comments==
	The feelings expressed here become a recurring theme later on, though camouflaged by a great deal of positive interaction in the interim. I have to quote something she said in her very last note (not counting the poem or the birthday card), #{{l/same\|114}} dated February 1 1982, the only plain-prose note she gave me after The Unfriending of Xmas 1981:<blockquote>"The thoughts on the page and the thinker elsewhere" That so well describes my feelings to[ward] you since, well, the beginning. I just have difficulty dealing with you.</blockquote>I don't want to get ahead of myself, but reading this note inescapably brings me to that one and the terrible feelings it evokes.		The feelings expressed here become {{lc\|Jenny/thinker elsewhere\|a recurring theme}} later on, though camouflaged by a great deal of positive interaction in the interim. I have to quote something she said in her very last note (not counting the poem or the birthday card), #{{l/same\|114}} dated February 1 1982, the only plain-prose note she gave me after The Unfriending of Xmas 1981:<blockquote>"The thoughts on the page and the thinker elsewhere" That so well describes my feelings to[ward] you since, well, the beginning. I just have difficulty dealing with you.</blockquote>I don't want to get ahead of myself, but reading this note inescapably brings me to that one and the terrible feelings it evokes.

	At the time, I did catch that she was having a hard time dealing with my physical presence, but reassured myself that everything was okay because she ended it with a statement that we should talk more about it. I always liked talking with her. As long as we were talking, everything could be okay.		At the time, I did catch that she was having a hard time dealing with my physical presence, but reassured myself that everything was okay because she ended it with a statement that we should talk more about it. I always liked talking with her. As long as we were talking, everything could be okay.

	~~[[Category:1980\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]~~
	~~[[Category:1980/11\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]~~
	~~[[Category:1980/11/06\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]~~
	~~[[Category:Dates/11/06\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]~~
	~~[[Category:Jenny notes\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]~~
	~~[[Category:Months/11\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]~~

	==Scans==		==Scans==
	[[File:1980-11-06 jrh 006p1.adj-xpar-1600pxw.png\|600px]]		[[File:1980-11-06 jrh 006p1.adj-xpar-1600pxw.png\|600px]]
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			[[Category:Includes\|I/sub]]
	[[Category:Jenny notes\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]		[[Category:Jenny notes\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]
	[[Category:Months/11\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]		[[Category:Months/11\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]
			[[Category:Jenny/thinker elsewhere\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]

Woozle: /* Comments */ link to #114

2017-10-28T12:14:43Z

Comments: link to #114

← Older revision		Revision as of 12:14, 28 October 2017
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	<blockquote>{{i/sub\|transcript}}</blockquote>		<blockquote>{{i/sub\|transcript}}</blockquote>
	==Comments==		==Comments==
	The feelings expressed here become a recurring theme later on, though camouflaged by a great deal of positive interaction in the interim. I have to quote something she said in her very last note (not counting the poem or the birthday card), #114 dated February 1 1982, the only plain-prose note she gave me after The Unfriending of Xmas 1981:<blockquote>"The thoughts on the page and the thinker elsewhere" That so well describes my feelings to[ward] you since, well, the beginning. I just have difficulty dealing with you.</blockquote>I don't want to get ahead of myself, but reading this note inescapably brings me to that one and the terrible feelings it evokes.		The feelings expressed here become a recurring theme later on, though camouflaged by a great deal of positive interaction in the interim. I have to quote something she said in her very last note (not counting the poem or the birthday card), #{{l/same\|114}} dated February 1 1982, the only plain-prose note she gave me after The Unfriending of Xmas 1981:<blockquote>"The thoughts on the page and the thinker elsewhere" That so well describes my feelings to[ward] you since, well, the beginning. I just have difficulty dealing with you.</blockquote>I don't want to get ahead of myself, but reading this note inescapably brings me to that one and the terrible feelings it evokes.

	At the time, I did catch that she was having a hard time dealing with my physical presence, but reassured myself that everything was okay because she ended it with a statement that we should talk more about it. I always liked talking with her. As long as we were talking, everything could be okay.		At the time, I did catch that she was having a hard time dealing with my physical presence, but reassured myself that everything was okay because she ended it with a statement that we should talk more about it. I always liked talking with her. As long as we were talking, everything could be okay.

			[[Category:1980\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]
			[[Category:1980/11\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]
			[[Category:1980/11/06\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]
			[[Category:Dates/11/06\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]
			[[Category:Jenny notes\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]
			[[Category:Months/11\|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]

	==Scans==		==Scans==
	[[File:1980-11-06 jrh 006p1.adj-xpar-1600pxw.png\|600px]]		[[File:1980-11-06 jrh 006p1.adj-xpar-1600pxw.png\|600px]]

Woozle: commentary

2017-10-28T00:50:49Z

commentary

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 {{c/date|1980-11-06}}
 ==Transcript==
-<blockquote>Nov 6, 1980
+<blockquote>{{i/sub|transcript}}</blockquote>
-Ah, how the written word so cleverly hides the ugly, the coarse, the awkward.
+At the time, I did catch that she was having a hard time dealing with my physical presence, but reassured myself that everything was okay because she ended it with a statement that we should talk more about it. I always liked talking with her. As long as we were talking, everything could be okay.
 ==Scans==
 [[File:1980-11-06 jrh 006p1.adj-xpar-1600pxw.png|600px]]

Woozle: quote source

2017-10-24T22:42:25Z

quote source

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:42, 24 October 2017
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	Slow down, we move too fast. On the wheels of time we spin.		Slow down, we move too fast. On the wheels of time we spin.
	{{box/quote\|"Two further Kaspars come toward each other across the stage from different directions. They want to get past each other. Both step aside in the same direction, and bump into each other. They step aside in the other direction and bump into each other again."\|<u>Kaspar</u>}}		{{box/quote\|"Two further Kaspars come toward each other across the stage from different directions. They want to get past each other. Both step aside in the same direction, and bump into each other. They step aside in the other direction and bump into each other again."\|2=<u>[https://books.google.com/books?id=UakR5eMZ4MIC&pg=PA105&lpg=PA105#v=onepage&q&f=false Kaspar]</u>}}
	The spinning wheels of time... Bobbing past, slowing down, waiting for to catch up, bobbing ahead.		The spinning wheels of time... Bobbing past, slowing down, waiting for to catch up, bobbing ahead.

Woozle: transcript

2017-10-24T22:35:44Z

transcript

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 {{c/date|1980-11-06}}
 [[File:1980-11-06 jrh 006p1.adj-xpar-1600pxw.png|600px]]
 [[File:1980-11-06 jrh 006p2.adj-xpar-1600pxw.png|600px]]
 [[Category:Jenny notes|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]

Woozle: Created page with "{{c/date|1980-11-06}} 600px 600px Category:Jenny notes|Woozle/Jenny/no..."

2017-10-24T21:55:52Z

Created page with "{{c/date|1980-11-06}} 600px 600px Category:Jenny notes|Woozle/Jenny/no..."

New page

{{c/date|1980-11-06}}
[[File:1980-11-06 jrh 006p1.adj-xpar-1600pxw.png|600px]]
[[File:1980-11-06 jrh 006p2.adj-xpar-1600pxw.png|600px]]

[[Category:Jenny notes|Woozle/Jenny/note/006]]