Jokes - Revision history

Woozle: /* short form */

2026-06-05T18:02:28Z

short form

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:02, 5 June 2026
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	* My grandma used to insist on leaving the eggs out on the counter, so they could "breathe". It was really just eggs aspirating.<ref>2021-07-12 [https://toot.cat/@woozle/106569175391936017 original], as far as I know</ref>		* My grandma used to insist on leaving the eggs out on the counter, so they could "breathe". It was really just eggs aspirating.<ref>2021-07-12 [https://toot.cat/@woozle/106569175391936017 original], as far as I know</ref>
	* Never rank armageddons; it'll all end in tiers.<ref name=masto20210619 />		* Never rank armageddons; it'll all end in tiers.<ref name=masto20210619 />
			* Never upset the graphs department – they will plot against you. [https://chaos.social/@jonty/116698232638632070]
	* Telling your suitcase there's no more vacations this year can be tough. Emotional baggage is the worst.<ref name=masto20250112 />		* Telling your suitcase there's no more vacations this year can be tough. Emotional baggage is the worst.<ref name=masto20250112 />
	* There's this joke about Aphrodite... it's a real beaut; you have to love it.<ref name=twitter20200731 />		* There's this joke about Aphrodite... it's a real beaut; you have to love it.<ref name=twitter20200731 />
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	* When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.		* When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
	* Worshiping sugar-substitutes is sacchariligious.<ref>'''2025-03-22''' [https://toot.cat/@woozle/114207611092987452 original], afaik</ref>		* Worshiping sugar-substitutes is sacchariligious.<ref>'''2025-03-22''' [https://toot.cat/@woozle/114207611092987452 original], afaik</ref>

	==Better When Spoken==		==Better When Spoken==
	* '''Q''': How does a nonbinary ninja kill people?		* '''Q''': How does a nonbinary ninja kill people?

Woozle: /* Somewhat Specialized */

2026-05-18T19:07:43Z

Somewhat Specialized

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:07, 18 May 2026
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	** '''A''': they/them ("they slash them")		** '''A''': they/them ("they slash them")
	==Somewhat Specialized==		==Somewhat Specialized==
	* The up-side of getting [[wikipedia:Gender-affirming surgery\|GRS]] done at a Naval hospital is you don't pay a flat fee; instead, they go by a depth charge.<ref>'''2025-06-06''' [https://normal.style/@triz/114638701082005161 ~~original~~</ref>		* The up-side of getting [[wikipedia:Gender-affirming surgery\|GRS]] done at a Naval hospital is you don't pay a flat fee; instead, they go by a depth charge.<ref>'''2025-06-06''' [https://normal.style/@triz/114638701082005161 normal.style/@triz]</ref>

	==Footnotes==		==Footnotes==
	<references>		<references>

Woozle: /* Questions */

2026-05-18T19:04:31Z

Questions

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:04, 18 May 2026
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	* Have you read that book ''How to Fall Down a Staircase''? It's a step-by-step guide, written last fall.<ref>2024-11-29 from [https://cutie.city/@Quenby/113567165015077986 fedi]</ref>		* Have you read that book ''How to Fall Down a Staircase''? It's a step-by-step guide, written last fall.<ref>2024-11-29 from [https://cutie.city/@Quenby/113567165015077986 fedi]</ref>
	* If a vampire didn't believe the earth was round, would you call him a Vlad Earther, or No-sphere-ratu?<ref>2021-10-18 via Twitch via [https://discord.com/channels/381932342719152139/617058128617537539/899712106268598304 Discord]</ref>		* If a vampire didn't believe the earth was round, would you call him a Vlad Earther, or No-sphere-ratu?<ref>2021-10-18 via Twitch via [https://discord.com/channels/381932342719152139/617058128617537539/899712106268598304 Discord]</ref>
			===Q & A===
	* Q: How do they get virgin olive oil? A: They don't pollinate the trees. [https://mastodon.social/@cjd/102738957444391352]		* Q: How do they get virgin olive oil? A: They don't pollinate the trees. [https://mastodon.social/@cjd/102738957444391352]
	* Q: How do you console an English teacher? A: "There, their, they're."		* Q: How do you console an English teacher? A: "There, their, they're."
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	* Q: Why don't sharks eat clones? A: They all taste the same. [https://eldritch.cafe/@SallyStrange/100770070410418430]		* Q: Why don't sharks eat clones? A: They all taste the same. [https://eldritch.cafe/@SallyStrange/100770070410418430]
	* Q: Why don't sharks eat clowns? A: They taste funny. [https://eldritch.cafe/@SallyStrange/100770070410418430]		* Q: Why don't sharks eat clowns? A: They taste funny. [https://eldritch.cafe/@SallyStrange/100770070410418430]
			* Q: What's a fireman's favorite type of music? A: Stop-drop-'n'-roll.<ref>original just now (2026-05-18), as far as I know; alternative answers [https://ohwhatapun.com/firefighter-puns/ here], [https://onlybyland.com/fireman-puns/ here], and [https://oghumor.com/top/fireman/ here].</ref>

	==Then It==		==Then It==

Woozle at 00:26, 9 June 2025

2025-06-09T00:26:00Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:26, 9 June 2025
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	* '''Q''': How does a nonbinary ninja kill people?		* '''Q''': How does a nonbinary ninja kill people?
	** '''A''': they/them ("they slash them")		** '''A''': they/them ("they slash them")
			==Somewhat Specialized==
			* The up-side of getting [[wikipedia:Gender-affirming surgery\|GRS]] done at a Naval hospital is you don't pay a flat fee; instead, they go by a depth charge.<ref>'''2025-06-06''' [https://normal.style/@triz/114638701082005161 original</ref>
	==Footnotes==		==Footnotes==
	<references>		<references>

Woozle at 01:24, 20 April 2025

2025-04-20T01:24:06Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:24, 20 April 2025
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	* When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.		* When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
	* Worshiping sugar-substitutes is sacchariligious.<ref>'''2025-03-22''' [https://toot.cat/@woozle/114207611092987452 original], afaik</ref>		* Worshiping sugar-substitutes is sacchariligious.<ref>'''2025-03-22''' [https://toot.cat/@woozle/114207611092987452 original], afaik</ref>
			==Better When Spoken==
			* '''Q''': How does a nonbinary ninja kill people?
			** '''A''': they/them ("they slash them")
	==Footnotes==		==Footnotes==
	<references>		<references>

Woozle at 13:25, 7 April 2025

2025-04-07T13:25:58Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:25, 7 April 2025
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	[[Category:Humor]]		[[Category:Humor]]
			[[File:9d11f0dc6c9f78fe.png\|thumb\|colorful humor]]
	This is a page for collecting jokes. We apologize.		This is a page for collecting jokes. We apologize.
	==Business==		==Business==

Woozle: /* short form */

2025-04-05T13:17:30Z

short form

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:17, 5 April 2025
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	* Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.		* Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
	* I bought a sweater which kept picking up static electricity. I went back to the store and demanded a replacement free of charge.<ref name=imgur20210620 />		* I bought a sweater which kept picking up static electricity. I went back to the store and demanded a replacement free of charge.<ref name=imgur20210620 />
			* I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.<sup>[https://mastodon.world/@MonotoneofBill/114282193397639153]</sup>
	* I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's also terrible.		* I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's also terrible.
	* I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.		* I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

Woozle: /* short form */

2025-03-23T23:22:23Z

short form

← Older revision		Revision as of 23:22, 23 March 2025
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	* Venison for dinner? Oh, deer!		* Venison for dinner? Oh, deer!
	* When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.		* When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
			* Worshiping sugar-substitutes is sacchariligious.<ref>'''2025-03-22''' [https://toot.cat/@woozle/114207611092987452 original], afaik</ref>

	==Footnotes==		==Footnotes==

Woozle: /* short form */

2025-03-11T14:34:55Z

short form

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:34, 11 March 2025
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	* If you love tomato and vodka juice so much, why don't you Bloody Mary it?<ref name=disco20210613 />		* If you love tomato and vodka juice so much, why don't you Bloody Mary it?<ref name=disco20210613 />
	* Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.		* Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
			* Most jokes about typography are unjustified.<sup>[https://hachyderm.io/@skade/114139080941833160]</sup>
	* My friend said he didn't understand cloning. I said "That makes two of us."<ref name=imgur20210620 />		* My friend said he didn't understand cloning. I said "That makes two of us."<ref name=imgur20210620 />
	* My grandma used to insist on leaving the eggs out on the counter, so they could "breathe". It was really just eggs aspirating.<ref>2021-07-12 [https://toot.cat/@woozle/106569175391936017 original], as far as I know</ref>		* My grandma used to insist on leaving the eggs out on the counter, so they could "breathe". It was really just eggs aspirating.<ref>2021-07-12 [https://toot.cat/@woozle/106569175391936017 original], as far as I know</ref>

Woozle at 22:52, 11 February 2025

2025-02-11T22:52:54Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:52, 11 February 2025
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	* I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't see any.		* I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't see any.
	* I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.		* I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
			* I've done a survey on how people walk home from the pub. The results are staggering...<ref name=fedi20250211 />
	* I've read at least twelve Hercules jokes today, and god they're laboured. [https://twitter.com/daniel_barker/status/1428337252615270401]		* I've read at least twelve Hercules jokes today, and god they're laboured. [https://twitter.com/daniel_barker/status/1428337252615270401]
	* I've written a new book called "How to Survive Falling Down a Staircase". It's a step-by-step guide.<ref name=imgur20210620 />		* I've written a new book called "How to Survive Falling Down a Staircase". It's a step-by-step guide.<ref name=imgur20210620 />
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	==Footnotes==		==Footnotes==
	<references>		<references>
			<ref name=fedi20250211>2025-02-11 [https://tech.lgbt/@Natasha_Jay/113986454093439291 tech.lgbt/@Natasha_Jay]</ref>
	<ref name=masto20250112>2025-01-12 [https://tech.lgbt/@Natasha_Jay/113816613363109713 tech.lgbt/@Natasha_Jay] (with illustrative photo)</ref>		<ref name=masto20250112>2025-01-12 [https://tech.lgbt/@Natasha_Jay/113816613363109713 tech.lgbt/@Natasha_Jay] (with illustrative photo)</ref>
	<ref name=catsalad20250107>2025-01-07 [https://infosec.exchange/@catsalad/113788144305870353 infosec.exchange/@catsalad]</ref>		<ref name=catsalad20250107>2025-01-07 [https://infosec.exchange/@catsalad/113788144305870353 infosec.exchange/@catsalad]</ref>