Jokes - Revision history

Woozle: /* Conversations */

2026-07-26T19:37:39Z

Conversations

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:37, 26 July 2026
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	==Conversations==		==Conversations==
	* "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual."		* "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual."
	* Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true", exclaims Daisy *ndash; "no bull!"		* Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true", exclaims Daisy – "no bull!"
	* A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."		* A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

	==Longer==		==Longer==
	* [[/1400s Alpine mead monastery]]		* [[/1400s Alpine mead monastery]]

Woozle: /* short form */

2026-07-26T19:36:18Z

short form

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:36, 26 July 2026
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	* Deja Moo: the feeling that you've heard this bull before.		* Deja Moo: the feeling that you've heard this bull before.
	* Did you hear the one about Lot's wife? It's very salty.<ref name=twitter20200731 />		* Did you hear the one about Lot's wife? It's very salty.<ref name=twitter20200731 />
			* Did you know that if you dream in color that’s technically considered to be a pigment of your imagination? [https://bsky.app/profile/jongraywb.blacksky.app/post/3kt23mszgar2n]
	* England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.		* England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
	* First thing they do at wrestling school is show you the ropes. [https://godforsaken.website/@wandrew/102339363306119641]		* First thing they do at wrestling school is show you the ropes. [https://godforsaken.website/@wandrew/102339363306119641]

Woozle at 17:01, 27 June 2026

2026-06-27T17:01:14Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:01, 27 June 2026
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	[[Category:Humor]]		[[Category:Humor]]
			[[File:RDT 20260626 1325514925575557130403659.webp\|thumb]]
	[[File:9d11f0dc6c9f78fe.png\|thumb\|colorful humor]]		[[File:9d11f0dc6c9f78fe.png\|thumb\|colorful humor]]
	This is a page for collecting jokes. We apologize.		This is a page for collecting jokes. We apologize.
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	* Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.<ref name=twitter20200731 />		* Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.<ref name=twitter20200731 />
	==Jobs==		==Jobs==
			* My dad was fired from his job in road work for theft. I didn't believe it at first but when I got home, all the signs were there. ([[:File:RDT 20260626 1325514925575557130403659.webp\|via Discord]])
	* My job of massaging the bellies of ducks is making me depressed. I'm feeling down.<ref name=masto20200518a />		* My job of massaging the bellies of ducks is making me depressed. I'm feeling down.<ref name=masto20200518a />
	* I quit my duck-massaging job and took my skills to a German sausage factory in hope it would improve my mood... but that was when I felt the wurst.<ref name=masto20200518a />		* I quit my duck-massaging job and took my skills to a German sausage factory in hope it would improve my mood... but that was when I felt the wurst.<ref name=masto20200518a />

Woozle: /* short form */

2026-06-05T18:02:28Z

short form

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:02, 5 June 2026
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	* My grandma used to insist on leaving the eggs out on the counter, so they could "breathe". It was really just eggs aspirating.<ref>2021-07-12 [https://toot.cat/@woozle/106569175391936017 original], as far as I know</ref>		* My grandma used to insist on leaving the eggs out on the counter, so they could "breathe". It was really just eggs aspirating.<ref>2021-07-12 [https://toot.cat/@woozle/106569175391936017 original], as far as I know</ref>
	* Never rank armageddons; it'll all end in tiers.<ref name=masto20210619 />		* Never rank armageddons; it'll all end in tiers.<ref name=masto20210619 />
			* Never upset the graphs department – they will plot against you. [https://chaos.social/@jonty/116698232638632070]
	* Telling your suitcase there's no more vacations this year can be tough. Emotional baggage is the worst.<ref name=masto20250112 />		* Telling your suitcase there's no more vacations this year can be tough. Emotional baggage is the worst.<ref name=masto20250112 />
	* There's this joke about Aphrodite... it's a real beaut; you have to love it.<ref name=twitter20200731 />		* There's this joke about Aphrodite... it's a real beaut; you have to love it.<ref name=twitter20200731 />
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	* When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.		* When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
	* Worshiping sugar-substitutes is sacchariligious.<ref>'''2025-03-22''' [https://toot.cat/@woozle/114207611092987452 original], afaik</ref>		* Worshiping sugar-substitutes is sacchariligious.<ref>'''2025-03-22''' [https://toot.cat/@woozle/114207611092987452 original], afaik</ref>

	==Better When Spoken==		==Better When Spoken==
	* '''Q''': How does a nonbinary ninja kill people?		* '''Q''': How does a nonbinary ninja kill people?

Woozle: /* Somewhat Specialized */

2026-05-18T19:07:43Z

Somewhat Specialized

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:07, 18 May 2026
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	** '''A''': they/them ("they slash them")		** '''A''': they/them ("they slash them")
	==Somewhat Specialized==		==Somewhat Specialized==
	* The up-side of getting [[wikipedia:Gender-affirming surgery\|GRS]] done at a Naval hospital is you don't pay a flat fee; instead, they go by a depth charge.<ref>'''2025-06-06''' [https://normal.style/@triz/114638701082005161 ~~original~~</ref>		* The up-side of getting [[wikipedia:Gender-affirming surgery\|GRS]] done at a Naval hospital is you don't pay a flat fee; instead, they go by a depth charge.<ref>'''2025-06-06''' [https://normal.style/@triz/114638701082005161 normal.style/@triz]</ref>

	==Footnotes==		==Footnotes==
	<references>		<references>

Woozle: /* Questions */

2026-05-18T19:04:31Z

Questions

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:04, 18 May 2026
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	* Have you read that book ''How to Fall Down a Staircase''? It's a step-by-step guide, written last fall.<ref>2024-11-29 from [https://cutie.city/@Quenby/113567165015077986 fedi]</ref>		* Have you read that book ''How to Fall Down a Staircase''? It's a step-by-step guide, written last fall.<ref>2024-11-29 from [https://cutie.city/@Quenby/113567165015077986 fedi]</ref>
	* If a vampire didn't believe the earth was round, would you call him a Vlad Earther, or No-sphere-ratu?<ref>2021-10-18 via Twitch via [https://discord.com/channels/381932342719152139/617058128617537539/899712106268598304 Discord]</ref>		* If a vampire didn't believe the earth was round, would you call him a Vlad Earther, or No-sphere-ratu?<ref>2021-10-18 via Twitch via [https://discord.com/channels/381932342719152139/617058128617537539/899712106268598304 Discord]</ref>
			===Q & A===
	* Q: How do they get virgin olive oil? A: They don't pollinate the trees. [https://mastodon.social/@cjd/102738957444391352]		* Q: How do they get virgin olive oil? A: They don't pollinate the trees. [https://mastodon.social/@cjd/102738957444391352]
	* Q: How do you console an English teacher? A: "There, their, they're."		* Q: How do you console an English teacher? A: "There, their, they're."
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	* Q: Why don't sharks eat clones? A: They all taste the same. [https://eldritch.cafe/@SallyStrange/100770070410418430]		* Q: Why don't sharks eat clones? A: They all taste the same. [https://eldritch.cafe/@SallyStrange/100770070410418430]
	* Q: Why don't sharks eat clowns? A: They taste funny. [https://eldritch.cafe/@SallyStrange/100770070410418430]		* Q: Why don't sharks eat clowns? A: They taste funny. [https://eldritch.cafe/@SallyStrange/100770070410418430]
			* Q: What's a fireman's favorite type of music? A: Stop-drop-'n'-roll.<ref>original just now (2026-05-18), as far as I know; alternative answers [https://ohwhatapun.com/firefighter-puns/ here], [https://onlybyland.com/fireman-puns/ here], and [https://oghumor.com/top/fireman/ here].</ref>

	==Then It==		==Then It==

Woozle at 00:26, 9 June 2025

2025-06-09T00:26:00Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:26, 9 June 2025
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	* '''Q''': How does a nonbinary ninja kill people?		* '''Q''': How does a nonbinary ninja kill people?
	** '''A''': they/them ("they slash them")		** '''A''': they/them ("they slash them")
			==Somewhat Specialized==
			* The up-side of getting [[wikipedia:Gender-affirming surgery\|GRS]] done at a Naval hospital is you don't pay a flat fee; instead, they go by a depth charge.<ref>'''2025-06-06''' [https://normal.style/@triz/114638701082005161 original</ref>
	==Footnotes==		==Footnotes==
	<references>		<references>

Woozle at 01:24, 20 April 2025

2025-04-20T01:24:06Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:24, 20 April 2025
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	* When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.		* When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
	* Worshiping sugar-substitutes is sacchariligious.<ref>'''2025-03-22''' [https://toot.cat/@woozle/114207611092987452 original], afaik</ref>		* Worshiping sugar-substitutes is sacchariligious.<ref>'''2025-03-22''' [https://toot.cat/@woozle/114207611092987452 original], afaik</ref>
			==Better When Spoken==
			* '''Q''': How does a nonbinary ninja kill people?
			** '''A''': they/them ("they slash them")
	==Footnotes==		==Footnotes==
	<references>		<references>

Woozle at 13:25, 7 April 2025

2025-04-07T13:25:58Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:25, 7 April 2025
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	[[Category:Humor]]		[[Category:Humor]]
			[[File:9d11f0dc6c9f78fe.png\|thumb\|colorful humor]]
	This is a page for collecting jokes. We apologize.		This is a page for collecting jokes. We apologize.
	==Business==		==Business==

Woozle: /* short form */

2025-04-05T13:17:30Z

short form

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:17, 5 April 2025
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	* Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.		* Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
	* I bought a sweater which kept picking up static electricity. I went back to the store and demanded a replacement free of charge.<ref name=imgur20210620 />		* I bought a sweater which kept picking up static electricity. I went back to the store and demanded a replacement free of charge.<ref name=imgur20210620 />
			* I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.<sup>[https://mastodon.world/@MonotoneofBill/114282193397639153]</sup>
	* I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's also terrible.		* I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's also terrible.
	* I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.		* I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.