https://hypertwins.org/mw/index.php?action=history&feed=atom&title=1999-06-13_Woozle_thots 2026-04-16T14:09:25Z Revision history for this page on the wiki MediaWiki 1.43.0 https://hypertwins.org/mw/index.php?title=1999-06-13_Woozle_thots&diff=5964&oldid=prev 2006-01-06T16:25:21Z

<p></p> <p><b>New page</b></p><div>[[Category:Dated Items]][[Category:1999]][[Category:Woozle writings]]1999.06.13<br /> <br /> * &#039;&#039;&#039;status&#039;&#039;&#039;: guilt, anxiety; I want to hide under a table<br /> <br /> I really wish I felt like helping the others paint the houses, but in my present state I know I would not be fit company. Possibly if there were fewer of them I could manage, but maybe not. Also I didn&#039;t get the idea earlier that I was expected to join in, so I didn&#039;t put forth any effort towards psyching myself up for it.<br /> <br /> Is this my fault? I don&#039;t know. I do know that I arrange my work so that there&#039;s always (usually) &#039;&#039;something&#039;&#039; I can get motivated to work on, though this may not necessarily be what I was &#039;&#039;planning&#039;&#039; to work on. Even if I had planned to work on the houses, I might just really not feel like it -- and I&#039;ve found that forcing myself to work on things when I really don&#039;t feel like it is counterproductive; I&#039;m likely to end up smashing something or yelling at someone.<br /> <br /> And again the voice chimes in: I work at that damn programming job I hate in order to pay for this, I&#039;ve already sunk over $7k into it, doesn&#039;t that let me off the hook? Just what are my family obligations anyway? Did I promise something when I wasn&#039;t paying attention, or implicitly, that I&#039;m now reneging on somehow?<br /> <br /> $5k of that was supposed to be my peace-of-mind buffer, in case I desperately needed to take some time off from working. Just having it there made it easier to go into work, and now it&#039;s gone.</div>

Woozle